It has been WAY too long since I've blogged. But honestly, not much is new. Dad is still sick, work is the still pretty good (though a big raise wouldn't hurt), I still have the best friends a girl can ask for. The weight loss journey has plateaued, but I am going to fix that. The only new thing is that I have met someone. It is still fairly new, but VERY promising. We are so much alike. We both felt instantly comfortable around each other. Granted, I do still have a couple of my own issues I have to work on, but overall I really like him and he makes me happy. He is very sweet, affectionate and romantic. Maybe because he is a little older...who knows. All I know is he came out of the middle of nowhere when I least expected it and I am glad I took a chance. It is scary, but I have a feeling so worth it. Here is to hoping that things continue looking up!
T
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Love is Love.
I read these 2 articles online this morning and it gives me hope. Now I know I am not huge or obese, but by society's standards I'm a big girl. Most of the male population does not look past that. But, after reading these two articles online I realize there is nothing wrong with me...physically or etc. It is society and the pretentious DBs in Dallas that have issues. But I will try & remain hopeful my other half is out there.
http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/im-overweight-boyfriends-not-big-freaking-deal-134800157.html
http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/girlfriend-weighs-more-170300690.html
Hopefully Yours,
Tisha
http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/im-overweight-boyfriends-not-big-freaking-deal-134800157.html
http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/girlfriend-weighs-more-170300690.html
Hopefully Yours,
Tisha
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
I fail as a blogger.
I fail as a blogger. I forget. Sometimes I have nothing to say. Sometimes I have too much to say. A lot of times when I feel the urge to blog I am in a funk and am feeling sorry for myself and no one wants to hear me whine. But today I blog to say hey to everyone! And have a safe & happy 4th of July. Make good choices. :)
Monday, May 20, 2013
Long time...No see...
Didn't realize it had been so long since I've blogged. I should really fix that...and I will!
Stay tuned.
T
Stay tuned.
T
Friday, July 13, 2012
Update on my dad
I figured this would be the easiest way to update everyone on my dad's current condition. So here it goes:
Long story short dad has an infection in his foot that has be partially amputated and never healed 100% from 2 years ago in the bone and the surrounding tissue. It has spread into the blood, making him sepsiss (sp?) (blood poisoning). This is in turn affecting his congestive heart failure causing fluid to build up in/around his heart & lungs causing him to require oxygen to breathe and is also affecting his kidneys. This totally explains the symptoms he has been having the last few days. He can't stay awake/coherent/alert, can't stand or walk because he is too weak. He can't really talk, he just mumbles. So the plan is surgery today to remove the infected bone & tissue and continue IV antibiotics. The hope is that this will clear up the blood infection & his heart & kidneys will improve. I'm sure I am leaving something out, but that is the jest of it.
Please send healing & positive vibes that he will pull through this and can go back home. My dad has been through so much these last few years health wise. He is a fighter and I can only hope he can regain enough strength to fight through this. And any hugs you wanna send my way are appreciated too :-)
I want to thank all of you for the support. Please, please know it is MUCH appreciated. I love you all! And a very special thank you to Zak for the phone chat & letting me cry it out. I am the strong one in my family, but sometimes I need someone to lean on too and I'm so glad you answered the phone when I called. :-).
Long story short dad has an infection in his foot that has be partially amputated and never healed 100% from 2 years ago in the bone and the surrounding tissue. It has spread into the blood, making him sepsiss (sp?) (blood poisoning). This is in turn affecting his congestive heart failure causing fluid to build up in/around his heart & lungs causing him to require oxygen to breathe and is also affecting his kidneys. This totally explains the symptoms he has been having the last few days. He can't stay awake/coherent/alert, can't stand or walk because he is too weak. He can't really talk, he just mumbles. So the plan is surgery today to remove the infected bone & tissue and continue IV antibiotics. The hope is that this will clear up the blood infection & his heart & kidneys will improve. I'm sure I am leaving something out, but that is the jest of it.
Please send healing & positive vibes that he will pull through this and can go back home. My dad has been through so much these last few years health wise. He is a fighter and I can only hope he can regain enough strength to fight through this. And any hugs you wanna send my way are appreciated too :-)
I want to thank all of you for the support. Please, please know it is MUCH appreciated. I love you all! And a very special thank you to Zak for the phone chat & letting me cry it out. I am the strong one in my family, but sometimes I need someone to lean on too and I'm so glad you answered the phone when I called. :-).
Sunday, July 8, 2012
My shyness is my disability...
I am shy. I have been my entire life. If I know you, and I'm comfortable around you, I am an open book and rarely hold back. But...if not, I am terribly shy and guarded. Some perceive this as stand-off-ish or maybe even snobiness. I am neither. I HATE that I am so shy. I think it stems from a fear of rejection or something...who knows. I have never been one to initiate...especially when it comes to the opposite sex. So how does someone that is as shy as I am put herself back out there??? Well, that is the million dollar question. But I am trying.
Here is a quote I saw today & want to share.
"Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different." - by Stacey Charter
I need to read this quote everyday. I have a lot to offer the right person...if they are man enough to break down my guard. I hope he is out there...and hope he finds me soon.
Here is a quote I saw today & want to share.
"Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different." - by Stacey Charter
I need to read this quote everyday. I have a lot to offer the right person...if they are man enough to break down my guard. I hope he is out there...and hope he finds me soon.
Is this thing still on????
Man it has been a while since I blogged. Where has the time gone...and what the hell have I been doing? Who knows....I've drank and slept a lot since March. :-). I haven't been running much in the last few months. I did a 5k on Saturday...it was hot & humid, but it did feel good to run again & see all my DRC peeps. Thankfully the fall training season starts up in a fews weeks and I can get back on track. I have to drop some of this weight I've put back on. Lately I had given up on dating. I have a profile on a dating site that has been up a while, but no one ever really sparked my interest. Until recently. I am one who usually keeps my guard up at first, that is what one does when your heart has been broken a few times. But it isn't easy for me to express my feelings. I wish I could wear my emotions on my sleeve. Right now I have butterflies...and I haven't felt this way in a very long time. It is scary. Terrifying. I'm afraid it will end up being too good to be true. I'm sure I'll do something to screw it up...I usually do. At least I think so. I either come on too stromg or not strong enough. I know I am a lot to handle. But I really hope this one sticks around. We seem to have a lot in common from music to tv shows. I mean how many guys out there really watch Gator Boys?!? I really want to introduce him to my friends...I know they'd like him too. But all in due time. Right now I am enjoying getting to know him better. I'm not sure if I will post this or not, and if I do I hope he doesn't see it & run away. But I guess that is the chance I take expressing my feelings on a blog. But I do feel better.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
12 Stressful Things to Stop Tolerating
I totally stole this but I feel it so worth repeating. I know I am guilty of most of these and I need to do better...and I will...starting now. http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/03/05/12-stressful-things-to-stop-tolerating/
Needless tolerations can bleed you dry of energy and make it impossible for you to function effectively. You can’t live a happy, successful, fulfilling life if you’re spending all your energy tolerating things that shouldn’t be tolerated. Sometimes you need to put your foot down.
Here are some things to stop tolerating in your life:
1. The decision to settle for mediocrity. – It’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken. Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something better. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. Sometimes growing up means growing apart from old habits, relationships, and situations, and finding something new that truly moves you – something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning. That’s what life is all about. Don’t settle.
2. Your own negative thinking. – Your mind is your sacred space. You can close the windows and darken your space, or you can open the windows and let light in. It’s your choice. The sun is always shining on some part of your life. What do you typically think about? How far you’ve come, or how far you have to go? Your strengths, or your weaknesses? The best that could happen, or the worst that might come to be? Pay attention to your self-talk. Because maybe, just maybe, the only thing that needs to shift in order for you to experience more happiness, more love, and more success, is your way of thinking. Read Emotional Freedom.
3. Other people’s negativity. – If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. You do not have control over what others say and do; but you do have control over whether or not you will allow them to say and do these things to you. You alone can deny their poisonous words and actions from invading your heart and mind. Remember, if you do not respect your sacred inner space, no one else will either.
4. Unhealthy relationships. – Choose your relationships wisely. Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as the wrong relationships. Be with people who know your worth. You don’t need lots of friends to be happy; just a few real ones who appreciate you for who you are. Oftentimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.
5. Dishonesty. – Inner peace is being able to rest at night knowing you haven’t used or taken advantage of anyone to get to where you are in life. Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless. Period. Don’t be dishonest and don’t put up with people who are.
6. A work environment or career field you hate. – If it doesn’t feel right, don’t settle on the first or second career field you dabble in. Keep searching. Eventually you will find work you love to do. If you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work isn’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.
7. Being disorganized and unprepared. – Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man. That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness and other unnecessary headaches. Clear the clutter. Get rid of stuff you don’t use. Read David Allen’s book Getting Things Done for some practical organizational guidance.
8. Inaction. – The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing; growing happens when what you know changes how you live. You can’t change anything or make any sort of progress by sitting back and thinking about it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. The best time to start is now.
9.The lingering of unfinished business. – There’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of unfinished business. Stop procrastinating. Start taking action to tie loose ends. Putting something off instantly makes it harder and scarier.
10. The choice to mull over past mistakes and regrets. – If you feel like your ship is sinking, it might be a good time to throw out the stuff that’s been weighing it down. The next time you decide to unclutter your life and clean up your space, start with the things that are truly useless, like old regrets, shame, and anger. Let it go. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading your previous one.
11. A mounting pile of personal debt. – Financial debt causes stress and heartache. Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one. Do not buy stuff you do not need. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects. Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. Always live well below your means. Read The Millionaire Next Door.
12. Your reluctance to say what you need to say. – Everyone has this little watchdog inside their head. It’s always there watching you. It was born and raised by your family, friends, coworkers and society at large, and its sole purpose is to watch you and make sure you stay in line. And once you become accustomed to the watchdog’s presence, you begin to think it’s opinion of what’s acceptable and unacceptable are absolute truths. But they’re not truths; they’re just other people’s opinions. Remember, the watchdog is just a watchdog, he just watches. He can’t actually control you. He can’t do anything about it if you decide to rise up and go against the grain. No, you shouldn’t start shouting obscenities and acting like a fool. But you must say what you need to say, when you need to say it. It may be your only chance to do so. Don’t censor yourself. Speak the truth – your truth – always.
Needless tolerations can bleed you dry of energy and make it impossible for you to function effectively. You can’t live a happy, successful, fulfilling life if you’re spending all your energy tolerating things that shouldn’t be tolerated. Sometimes you need to put your foot down.
Here are some things to stop tolerating in your life:
1. The decision to settle for mediocrity. – It’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken. Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something better. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. Sometimes growing up means growing apart from old habits, relationships, and situations, and finding something new that truly moves you – something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning. That’s what life is all about. Don’t settle.
2. Your own negative thinking. – Your mind is your sacred space. You can close the windows and darken your space, or you can open the windows and let light in. It’s your choice. The sun is always shining on some part of your life. What do you typically think about? How far you’ve come, or how far you have to go? Your strengths, or your weaknesses? The best that could happen, or the worst that might come to be? Pay attention to your self-talk. Because maybe, just maybe, the only thing that needs to shift in order for you to experience more happiness, more love, and more success, is your way of thinking. Read Emotional Freedom.
3. Other people’s negativity. – If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. You do not have control over what others say and do; but you do have control over whether or not you will allow them to say and do these things to you. You alone can deny their poisonous words and actions from invading your heart and mind. Remember, if you do not respect your sacred inner space, no one else will either.
4. Unhealthy relationships. – Choose your relationships wisely. Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as the wrong relationships. Be with people who know your worth. You don’t need lots of friends to be happy; just a few real ones who appreciate you for who you are. Oftentimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.
5. Dishonesty. – Inner peace is being able to rest at night knowing you haven’t used or taken advantage of anyone to get to where you are in life. Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless. Period. Don’t be dishonest and don’t put up with people who are.
6. A work environment or career field you hate. – If it doesn’t feel right, don’t settle on the first or second career field you dabble in. Keep searching. Eventually you will find work you love to do. If you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work isn’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.
7. Being disorganized and unprepared. – Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man. That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness and other unnecessary headaches. Clear the clutter. Get rid of stuff you don’t use. Read David Allen’s book Getting Things Done for some practical organizational guidance.
8. Inaction. – The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing; growing happens when what you know changes how you live. You can’t change anything or make any sort of progress by sitting back and thinking about it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. The best time to start is now.
9.The lingering of unfinished business. – There’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of unfinished business. Stop procrastinating. Start taking action to tie loose ends. Putting something off instantly makes it harder and scarier.
10. The choice to mull over past mistakes and regrets. – If you feel like your ship is sinking, it might be a good time to throw out the stuff that’s been weighing it down. The next time you decide to unclutter your life and clean up your space, start with the things that are truly useless, like old regrets, shame, and anger. Let it go. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading your previous one.
11. A mounting pile of personal debt. – Financial debt causes stress and heartache. Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one. Do not buy stuff you do not need. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects. Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. Always live well below your means. Read The Millionaire Next Door.
12. Your reluctance to say what you need to say. – Everyone has this little watchdog inside their head. It’s always there watching you. It was born and raised by your family, friends, coworkers and society at large, and its sole purpose is to watch you and make sure you stay in line. And once you become accustomed to the watchdog’s presence, you begin to think it’s opinion of what’s acceptable and unacceptable are absolute truths. But they’re not truths; they’re just other people’s opinions. Remember, the watchdog is just a watchdog, he just watches. He can’t actually control you. He can’t do anything about it if you decide to rise up and go against the grain. No, you shouldn’t start shouting obscenities and acting like a fool. But you must say what you need to say, when you need to say it. It may be your only chance to do so. Don’t censor yourself. Speak the truth – your truth – always.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
If a man really wants you...
I saw this article/blog written by someone else and I have to say I agree with every word. And there are a couple of things I am guilty of so it is nice to be reminded of that. Pass this advice along...
If a Man Wants You
By: Salma Rumman
This advice was passed along to me from a counselor; it was great to hear so I wanted to share it.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t "be friends." A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.
All men are not dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun; even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him — he takes it for granted.
Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies. You’ll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.
Via http://www.divinecaroline.com/22065/35337-wants
If a Man Wants You
By: Salma Rumman
This advice was passed along to me from a counselor; it was great to hear so I wanted to share it.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t "be friends." A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.
All men are not dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun; even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him — he takes it for granted.
Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies. You’ll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.
Via http://www.divinecaroline.com/22065/35337-wants
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Meh...
Well...tomorrow morning I will be running half marathon #9. And for some unknown reason I have no emotions about it either way. Usually I feel nervous or excited or both before a race. This time I'm just "meh". I'm not sure how to feel about that. Maybe part of it is I wish my parents could see me race. I't mean the world to me to have my dad and mom see me cross the finish line. I've had friends come out & cheer me on out on the course, but I've never really had anyone at the finish line cheering me on as I cross it. Maybe I'm being a silly girl, but it'd mean a lot to me to have that. Andit'd mean even more if it were my family. But I know my dad's health issues will not allow it. He isn't able to stand around for over 2 and a half hours waiting for me to finish. I can only hope one day he can. Maybe once his foot completely heals & he gets a new hip he can do things. I wish for that more than anything.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
My heart/mind is heavy.
I am the type of person that will hold her emotions in and put on a brave face for the world...until I reach a certain point. I get it from my dad. Well, I've reached that point. I have to vent, and what better way than to just blog it. It is my blog and I can vent if I want to.
I miss my nephew Josh. I worry about him over in Afghanistan every day and hope he is safe. He has always held a special place in my heart...since the day he was born and that will never change...no matter what. We've grown apart over the last year but what hasn't changed is I love him and he is my family. I will always be there for him. I hope he knows how true those words are.
I wish my dad could go one day without pain...just one day. He is such a fighter and it kills me to see him suffer. He is such a good man and he doesn't deserve to have to live this way. It isn't fair. But then again, neither is life. You have to play with the hand you are dealt. So, again, I will be there for him, and my mom, for whatever they need whenever they need it. I was blessed to have such awesome parents, who loved me unconditionally, and I never questioned that. I always knew they had my back. I only wish I could do more for them.
When it comes to dating & flirting I totally fail. In fact, I think I always have. I just want to meet someone and not play any games & all that crap. I'm a cool chick...give me a dive bar and a good cold beer & I'm happy. But my biggest problem is I am shy and I won't walk up to someone and initiate. This can be perceived as being a snob or standoffish. Which I'm totally not. I am trying to work on this. I miss going on dates...the butterflies...the newness of a new romance. It'll happen for me...and when it does I hope that man can keep up with me because I can be handful. And please let him want to always have fun. No bores allowed.
On a lighter note, we're going camping this weekend! WooHoo! I need a weekend away and what better time can be had that with your closest friends and then some? I think there are about 40-ish of us total. I plan to sit in my camping chair, drink cold beer, eat some damn good food and be with friends. There is no better way to spend a weekend in my opinion. Unless it is on a beach with an adult beverage in a coconut.
I miss my nephew Josh. I worry about him over in Afghanistan every day and hope he is safe. He has always held a special place in my heart...since the day he was born and that will never change...no matter what. We've grown apart over the last year but what hasn't changed is I love him and he is my family. I will always be there for him. I hope he knows how true those words are.
I wish my dad could go one day without pain...just one day. He is such a fighter and it kills me to see him suffer. He is such a good man and he doesn't deserve to have to live this way. It isn't fair. But then again, neither is life. You have to play with the hand you are dealt. So, again, I will be there for him, and my mom, for whatever they need whenever they need it. I was blessed to have such awesome parents, who loved me unconditionally, and I never questioned that. I always knew they had my back. I only wish I could do more for them.
When it comes to dating & flirting I totally fail. In fact, I think I always have. I just want to meet someone and not play any games & all that crap. I'm a cool chick...give me a dive bar and a good cold beer & I'm happy. But my biggest problem is I am shy and I won't walk up to someone and initiate. This can be perceived as being a snob or standoffish. Which I'm totally not. I am trying to work on this. I miss going on dates...the butterflies...the newness of a new romance. It'll happen for me...and when it does I hope that man can keep up with me because I can be handful. And please let him want to always have fun. No bores allowed.
On a lighter note, we're going camping this weekend! WooHoo! I need a weekend away and what better time can be had that with your closest friends and then some? I think there are about 40-ish of us total. I plan to sit in my camping chair, drink cold beer, eat some damn good food and be with friends. There is no better way to spend a weekend in my opinion. Unless it is on a beach with an adult beverage in a coconut.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Racing goals...
Since my budget has been tight lately I've missed out on registering for some races I really wanted to do this season. One being the Tour des Fluers 20k that is this Saturday. Another being the White Rock Half Marathon. I refuse to pay $100 for a race. I just can't justify it. And I waited too long to hop on a relay team. Oh well. I went through the local race calendar and have my eye on some races to do that I think I can work into my budget. So here is my race plan for this season:
10/13/11 Sante Fe Trail 5k
11/06/11 DRC Half Marathon (pacing the 2:40 R/W finish)
11/20/11 Fired Up 5k
11/24/11 Turkey Tro 8 Mile (I NEVER miss this one)
12/04/11 White Rock Marathon Relay (if I can get a team together)
01/22/12 Too Cold to Hold 15k
02/11/12 Hot Chocolate 15k (can't wait to do this one!)
The next 2 are maybes:
02/19/11 Austin Half Marathon
04/15/11 Hog Eye Half Marathon
If you have any other suggestions on good races preferably with nice swag let me know!
10/13/11 Sante Fe Trail 5k
11/06/11 DRC Half Marathon (pacing the 2:40 R/W finish)
11/20/11 Fired Up 5k
11/24/11 Turkey Tro 8 Mile (I NEVER miss this one)
12/04/11 White Rock Marathon Relay (if I can get a team together)
01/22/12 Too Cold to Hold 15k
02/11/12 Hot Chocolate 15k (can't wait to do this one!)
The next 2 are maybes:
02/19/11 Austin Half Marathon
04/15/11 Hog Eye Half Marathon
If you have any other suggestions on good races preferably with nice swag let me know!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
This is my bitch session...you were warned...
There are so many thoughts running through my mind lately...I keep saying I need to blog about it, but I don't. Then they keep running around in there and clogging it up. Class started last week and I'm already a week behind...awesome! Go me! I'm tired of being broke. I need a financial windfall...SOON! There are so many things I want to do and races I want to run, but you can't if the $$$ is tight. I'm tired of sandwiches and popcorn for dinner. I wish CatDog would get a damn job to help out...oh well. I have food on the table and gas in the car. My bills are paid so I know it could be worse. But damn...I miss having fun. I also miss my nephew. I want my dad to get better and not have anymore set backs. It kills me to see him hurting and in pain. I wish the pointless drama would go away. I wish people would mind their own business and worry about themselves. I wish I could do something special for my friends to show them how much they mean to me. I want to go visit Zak. I miss his hugs.
Ok I'm done...tomorrow will hopefully be a better day.
Ok I'm done...tomorrow will hopefully be a better day.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
One Day You Will - Lady Antebellum
You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now
[Chorus]
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will
You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet
[Repeat Chorus]
Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of
[Repeat Chorus]
One day you will
Oh one day you will
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byegkp9RJME
This is my new theme song for now...
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now
[Chorus]
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will
You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet
[Repeat Chorus]
Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of
[Repeat Chorus]
One day you will
Oh one day you will
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byegkp9RJME
This is my new theme song for now...
Monday, July 11, 2011
The smell of disappointment...
I reek of it. I am so disappointed in myself lately from my lack of motivation and general laziness...especially when it comes to my running. I had regsitered for the DRC Independence Day 10k and on race day downgraded to the 5k. I did the same thing yesterday at the Too Hot To Handle 15k...race day I downgraded to the 5k. Why? It was hot, yes. And I know I do not run well in the heat. I haven't ran much this summer at all due to said heat. But those are excuses. It is WAY too easy for me to talk myself out of running. How can I get in to a better mind set to do better about my running? All the weight I've lost over the last couple of years I've put back on. Great. I've completely given up on Weight Watchers. I do not have the best DNA handed down to me...I know this. I know I need to be healthy and take care of myself. Yet, I haven't been. And when I think about it I get disappointed in myself...I know I can & should do better. I've just been in a rut and can't seem to get out. I want to...I just don't. How do I fix this???
Born this way...
"I'm beautiful in my way, 'Cause God makes no mistakes. I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way". - Lady Gaga
Wow...what a message. I watched Glee the other night and the message was to love & accept yourself...good & bad because it makes us who we are. I completely agree with that, yet I have the hardest time doing so. There are several things I'd love to change about myself. I see a few flaws in me that my friends do not...they think I'm silly. Maybe they are right. But they do support me in the changes I do want to make. All my life I've struggled with my self-esteem...even to this day. I know what a beautiful person I am...I really do, but I have a hard time seeing it physically. When I was younger, in my teenage years, I was very thin. Even then I thought I was fat...man I'd love to go back & slap the teenager me. As I got older I packed on the pounds. And I will tell you at 34 it is A LOT easier to gain it than it is to lose it. You would think because I run often that'd help...and it did at first. I joined Weight Watchers to help kick start it, and it is...SLOWLY. I want to be able to throw on a swimsuit and not be self conscious (sp?) about how I look. And I can tell you I know this is my issue...and that I should just deal with it and get over it. And one day I will. I know I need to accept myself just the way I am, because I am a beautiful person. Sometimes it is just hard.
I think everyone has something about them they'd like to change. In my case it is to lose weight. Partly because I want to be healthy when I'm older and partly so I can of vanity. I've always said I am an open book and I will put it all out there. Sometimes it is theraputic for me...to just get it out. I am going to really try and live by the following statement...
We should all embrace what makes us who we are and different from the person sitting next to us :)
Wow...what a message. I watched Glee the other night and the message was to love & accept yourself...good & bad because it makes us who we are. I completely agree with that, yet I have the hardest time doing so. There are several things I'd love to change about myself. I see a few flaws in me that my friends do not...they think I'm silly. Maybe they are right. But they do support me in the changes I do want to make. All my life I've struggled with my self-esteem...even to this day. I know what a beautiful person I am...I really do, but I have a hard time seeing it physically. When I was younger, in my teenage years, I was very thin. Even then I thought I was fat...man I'd love to go back & slap the teenager me. As I got older I packed on the pounds. And I will tell you at 34 it is A LOT easier to gain it than it is to lose it. You would think because I run often that'd help...and it did at first. I joined Weight Watchers to help kick start it, and it is...SLOWLY. I want to be able to throw on a swimsuit and not be self conscious (sp?) about how I look. And I can tell you I know this is my issue...and that I should just deal with it and get over it. And one day I will. I know I need to accept myself just the way I am, because I am a beautiful person. Sometimes it is just hard.
I think everyone has something about them they'd like to change. In my case it is to lose weight. Partly because I want to be healthy when I'm older and partly so I can of vanity. I've always said I am an open book and I will put it all out there. Sometimes it is theraputic for me...to just get it out. I am going to really try and live by the following statement...
We should all embrace what makes us who we are and different from the person sitting next to us :)
Monday, June 27, 2011
The Ex Factor
So there you are...running into the store to pick up 2 or 3 items when you notice your ex...and his new woman. And you think to yourself, he never went shopping with me. Or held my hand in public. Then you get to thinking and wondering why didn't he do those things with you? Then you get disappointed in yourself for even caring. I mean come on, you have more important things to care/wonder/worry about. Why give it any thought. But you did, and for some reason it was a blow to your ego and it makes you mad at yourself for letting it effect you at all. So, you grab your few items unnoticed and go home wishing everyone happiness.
Friday, June 17, 2011
It's been a while...
It has been a while since I blogged. I have so much I want to say, so much running through my head 24/7, but I can't get it all into coherent sentences and phrases. I try to sit down, collect it all, but no luck. At night I jsut want my brain to shut off so I can sleep...which doesn't happen. I plan to stay low-key this weekend...hit the pool again. Maybe then I can gather my thoughts enough to sort it all out. Who knows?
Friday, May 27, 2011
Saying good-bye...
This past week someone special was taken from my family. She was a bright young woman with so much love in her heart. The only good thing I can say about it is that she is not suffering anymore, but it is the ones left behind that continue to suffer & hurt. My mom & I went to the funeral yesterday. I was reminded why I don't care for funerals. They are sad. I was sad. We walked in, signed the book, found a seat and watched the picture slideshow of her life. I enjoyed watching the photos scroll across cataloging her life and all her acomplishments. She did so much in her 23 years. She had many people there which shows how special she was to all of us. After hearing the wonderful eulogies (sp?) her mom, grandpa and uncle gave I am inspired by her. Jessica volunteered and gave back even when she herself was sick. I am healthy and I don't even do that. Well, I should. And I will. I was blessed to know Jessica. I watched her grow up from afar, and enjoyed seeing the young woman she became. She never complained, not once. She never asked why her...I know I would have. She accepted what she was delt with and did it with a smile on her face. She loved everyone she met. She was the most forgiving person I know. She will be missed by all those that knew & loved her. And those lives she touched & changed will never be the same :-).
Jessica - I won't say good-bye...I'll say see you later. I will always regret not spending more time with you while you were here and for not seeing you in the days before you passed on. But I will always remember the little girl that swam in my pool, would sing & dance Achy, Breaky Heart to me & mom (Nana Trish) to make us laugh, and called me Aunt TeTe.
Jessica - I won't say good-bye...I'll say see you later. I will always regret not spending more time with you while you were here and for not seeing you in the days before you passed on. But I will always remember the little girl that swam in my pool, would sing & dance Achy, Breaky Heart to me & mom (Nana Trish) to make us laugh, and called me Aunt TeTe.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
I have nothing to hide...
I try to be an open & honest person...to everyone. I am an open book, I have nothing to hide. I do not apologize for who I am or what I do. I like to think that makes me a strong person. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. I really don't care. Some people like me, some don't. I don't care if you don't like me...that's fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. You can look at my Facebook page and see everywhere I've been & with who. I like to be with my friends...a lot of times that is usally at a bar somewhere. Does this make me look like a partier or alcoholic? Maybe. But once again, I don't care. I like to go out & have a good time with my friends. I like to drink beer sometimes. I bring all this up because it was brought to my attention how my Facebook page might make me look. My answer to this...I DON'T CARE what others think of me. I am an adult. I pay my own bills. I know who I am and the ones close to me know also. I am very loyal, caring and compassionate to the ones I hold dear. I would do ANYTHING for them. I tend to put other people first before myself. I will go without to make sure others have what they need or want. I know this is who I am. So whatever other people think of me - I really don't care. They have their reasons for judging me. Life is too short to be anything than who you are. I don't try to hide who I am and I know I will never change who I am. I am me...take it or leave it.
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