I am shy. I have been my entire life. If I know you, and I'm comfortable around you, I am an open book and rarely hold back. But...if not, I am terribly shy and guarded. Some perceive this as stand-off-ish or maybe even snobiness. I am neither. I HATE that I am so shy. I think it stems from a fear of rejection or something...who knows. I have never been one to initiate...especially when it comes to the opposite sex. So how does someone that is as shy as I am put herself back out there??? Well, that is the million dollar question. But I am trying.
Here is a quote I saw today & want to share.
"Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different." - by Stacey Charter
I need to read this quote everyday. I have a lot to offer the right person...if they are man enough to break down my guard. I hope he is out there...and hope he finds me soon.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Is this thing still on????
Man it has been a while since I blogged. Where has the time gone...and what the hell have I been doing? Who knows....I've drank and slept a lot since March. :-). I haven't been running much in the last few months. I did a 5k on Saturday...it was hot & humid, but it did feel good to run again & see all my DRC peeps. Thankfully the fall training season starts up in a fews weeks and I can get back on track. I have to drop some of this weight I've put back on. Lately I had given up on dating. I have a profile on a dating site that has been up a while, but no one ever really sparked my interest. Until recently. I am one who usually keeps my guard up at first, that is what one does when your heart has been broken a few times. But it isn't easy for me to express my feelings. I wish I could wear my emotions on my sleeve. Right now I have butterflies...and I haven't felt this way in a very long time. It is scary. Terrifying. I'm afraid it will end up being too good to be true. I'm sure I'll do something to screw it up...I usually do. At least I think so. I either come on too stromg or not strong enough. I know I am a lot to handle. But I really hope this one sticks around. We seem to have a lot in common from music to tv shows. I mean how many guys out there really watch Gator Boys?!? I really want to introduce him to my friends...I know they'd like him too. But all in due time. Right now I am enjoying getting to know him better. I'm not sure if I will post this or not, and if I do I hope he doesn't see it & run away. But I guess that is the chance I take expressing my feelings on a blog. But I do feel better.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
12 Stressful Things to Stop Tolerating
I totally stole this but I feel it so worth repeating. I know I am guilty of most of these and I need to do better...and I will...starting now. http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/03/05/12-stressful-things-to-stop-tolerating/
Needless tolerations can bleed you dry of energy and make it impossible for you to function effectively. You can’t live a happy, successful, fulfilling life if you’re spending all your energy tolerating things that shouldn’t be tolerated. Sometimes you need to put your foot down.
Here are some things to stop tolerating in your life:
1. The decision to settle for mediocrity. – It’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken. Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something better. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. Sometimes growing up means growing apart from old habits, relationships, and situations, and finding something new that truly moves you – something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning. That’s what life is all about. Don’t settle.
2. Your own negative thinking. – Your mind is your sacred space. You can close the windows and darken your space, or you can open the windows and let light in. It’s your choice. The sun is always shining on some part of your life. What do you typically think about? How far you’ve come, or how far you have to go? Your strengths, or your weaknesses? The best that could happen, or the worst that might come to be? Pay attention to your self-talk. Because maybe, just maybe, the only thing that needs to shift in order for you to experience more happiness, more love, and more success, is your way of thinking. Read Emotional Freedom.
3. Other people’s negativity. – If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. You do not have control over what others say and do; but you do have control over whether or not you will allow them to say and do these things to you. You alone can deny their poisonous words and actions from invading your heart and mind. Remember, if you do not respect your sacred inner space, no one else will either.
4. Unhealthy relationships. – Choose your relationships wisely. Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as the wrong relationships. Be with people who know your worth. You don’t need lots of friends to be happy; just a few real ones who appreciate you for who you are. Oftentimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.
5. Dishonesty. – Inner peace is being able to rest at night knowing you haven’t used or taken advantage of anyone to get to where you are in life. Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless. Period. Don’t be dishonest and don’t put up with people who are.
6. A work environment or career field you hate. – If it doesn’t feel right, don’t settle on the first or second career field you dabble in. Keep searching. Eventually you will find work you love to do. If you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work isn’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.
7. Being disorganized and unprepared. – Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man. That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness and other unnecessary headaches. Clear the clutter. Get rid of stuff you don’t use. Read David Allen’s book Getting Things Done for some practical organizational guidance.
8. Inaction. – The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing; growing happens when what you know changes how you live. You can’t change anything or make any sort of progress by sitting back and thinking about it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. The best time to start is now.
9.The lingering of unfinished business. – There’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of unfinished business. Stop procrastinating. Start taking action to tie loose ends. Putting something off instantly makes it harder and scarier.
10. The choice to mull over past mistakes and regrets. – If you feel like your ship is sinking, it might be a good time to throw out the stuff that’s been weighing it down. The next time you decide to unclutter your life and clean up your space, start with the things that are truly useless, like old regrets, shame, and anger. Let it go. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading your previous one.
11. A mounting pile of personal debt. – Financial debt causes stress and heartache. Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one. Do not buy stuff you do not need. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects. Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. Always live well below your means. Read The Millionaire Next Door.
12. Your reluctance to say what you need to say. – Everyone has this little watchdog inside their head. It’s always there watching you. It was born and raised by your family, friends, coworkers and society at large, and its sole purpose is to watch you and make sure you stay in line. And once you become accustomed to the watchdog’s presence, you begin to think it’s opinion of what’s acceptable and unacceptable are absolute truths. But they’re not truths; they’re just other people’s opinions. Remember, the watchdog is just a watchdog, he just watches. He can’t actually control you. He can’t do anything about it if you decide to rise up and go against the grain. No, you shouldn’t start shouting obscenities and acting like a fool. But you must say what you need to say, when you need to say it. It may be your only chance to do so. Don’t censor yourself. Speak the truth – your truth – always.
Needless tolerations can bleed you dry of energy and make it impossible for you to function effectively. You can’t live a happy, successful, fulfilling life if you’re spending all your energy tolerating things that shouldn’t be tolerated. Sometimes you need to put your foot down.
Here are some things to stop tolerating in your life:
1. The decision to settle for mediocrity. – It’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken. Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something better. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. Sometimes growing up means growing apart from old habits, relationships, and situations, and finding something new that truly moves you – something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning. That’s what life is all about. Don’t settle.
2. Your own negative thinking. – Your mind is your sacred space. You can close the windows and darken your space, or you can open the windows and let light in. It’s your choice. The sun is always shining on some part of your life. What do you typically think about? How far you’ve come, or how far you have to go? Your strengths, or your weaknesses? The best that could happen, or the worst that might come to be? Pay attention to your self-talk. Because maybe, just maybe, the only thing that needs to shift in order for you to experience more happiness, more love, and more success, is your way of thinking. Read Emotional Freedom.
3. Other people’s negativity. – If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. You do not have control over what others say and do; but you do have control over whether or not you will allow them to say and do these things to you. You alone can deny their poisonous words and actions from invading your heart and mind. Remember, if you do not respect your sacred inner space, no one else will either.
4. Unhealthy relationships. – Choose your relationships wisely. Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as the wrong relationships. Be with people who know your worth. You don’t need lots of friends to be happy; just a few real ones who appreciate you for who you are. Oftentimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.
5. Dishonesty. – Inner peace is being able to rest at night knowing you haven’t used or taken advantage of anyone to get to where you are in life. Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless. Period. Don’t be dishonest and don’t put up with people who are.
6. A work environment or career field you hate. – If it doesn’t feel right, don’t settle on the first or second career field you dabble in. Keep searching. Eventually you will find work you love to do. If you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work isn’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.
7. Being disorganized and unprepared. – Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man. That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness and other unnecessary headaches. Clear the clutter. Get rid of stuff you don’t use. Read David Allen’s book Getting Things Done for some practical organizational guidance.
8. Inaction. – The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing; growing happens when what you know changes how you live. You can’t change anything or make any sort of progress by sitting back and thinking about it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. The best time to start is now.
9.The lingering of unfinished business. – There’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of unfinished business. Stop procrastinating. Start taking action to tie loose ends. Putting something off instantly makes it harder and scarier.
10. The choice to mull over past mistakes and regrets. – If you feel like your ship is sinking, it might be a good time to throw out the stuff that’s been weighing it down. The next time you decide to unclutter your life and clean up your space, start with the things that are truly useless, like old regrets, shame, and anger. Let it go. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading your previous one.
11. A mounting pile of personal debt. – Financial debt causes stress and heartache. Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one. Do not buy stuff you do not need. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects. Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. Always live well below your means. Read The Millionaire Next Door.
12. Your reluctance to say what you need to say. – Everyone has this little watchdog inside their head. It’s always there watching you. It was born and raised by your family, friends, coworkers and society at large, and its sole purpose is to watch you and make sure you stay in line. And once you become accustomed to the watchdog’s presence, you begin to think it’s opinion of what’s acceptable and unacceptable are absolute truths. But they’re not truths; they’re just other people’s opinions. Remember, the watchdog is just a watchdog, he just watches. He can’t actually control you. He can’t do anything about it if you decide to rise up and go against the grain. No, you shouldn’t start shouting obscenities and acting like a fool. But you must say what you need to say, when you need to say it. It may be your only chance to do so. Don’t censor yourself. Speak the truth – your truth – always.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
If a man really wants you...
I saw this article/blog written by someone else and I have to say I agree with every word. And there are a couple of things I am guilty of so it is nice to be reminded of that. Pass this advice along...
If a Man Wants You
By: Salma Rumman
This advice was passed along to me from a counselor; it was great to hear so I wanted to share it.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t "be friends." A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.
All men are not dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun; even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him — he takes it for granted.
Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies. You’ll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.
Via http://www.divinecaroline.com/22065/35337-wants
If a Man Wants You
By: Salma Rumman
This advice was passed along to me from a counselor; it was great to hear so I wanted to share it.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t "be friends." A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.
All men are not dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun; even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him — he takes it for granted.
Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies. You’ll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.
Via http://www.divinecaroline.com/22065/35337-wants
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Meh...
Well...tomorrow morning I will be running half marathon #9. And for some unknown reason I have no emotions about it either way. Usually I feel nervous or excited or both before a race. This time I'm just "meh". I'm not sure how to feel about that. Maybe part of it is I wish my parents could see me race. I't mean the world to me to have my dad and mom see me cross the finish line. I've had friends come out & cheer me on out on the course, but I've never really had anyone at the finish line cheering me on as I cross it. Maybe I'm being a silly girl, but it'd mean a lot to me to have that. Andit'd mean even more if it were my family. But I know my dad's health issues will not allow it. He isn't able to stand around for over 2 and a half hours waiting for me to finish. I can only hope one day he can. Maybe once his foot completely heals & he gets a new hip he can do things. I wish for that more than anything.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
My heart/mind is heavy.
I am the type of person that will hold her emotions in and put on a brave face for the world...until I reach a certain point. I get it from my dad. Well, I've reached that point. I have to vent, and what better way than to just blog it. It is my blog and I can vent if I want to.
I miss my nephew Josh. I worry about him over in Afghanistan every day and hope he is safe. He has always held a special place in my heart...since the day he was born and that will never change...no matter what. We've grown apart over the last year but what hasn't changed is I love him and he is my family. I will always be there for him. I hope he knows how true those words are.
I wish my dad could go one day without pain...just one day. He is such a fighter and it kills me to see him suffer. He is such a good man and he doesn't deserve to have to live this way. It isn't fair. But then again, neither is life. You have to play with the hand you are dealt. So, again, I will be there for him, and my mom, for whatever they need whenever they need it. I was blessed to have such awesome parents, who loved me unconditionally, and I never questioned that. I always knew they had my back. I only wish I could do more for them.
When it comes to dating & flirting I totally fail. In fact, I think I always have. I just want to meet someone and not play any games & all that crap. I'm a cool chick...give me a dive bar and a good cold beer & I'm happy. But my biggest problem is I am shy and I won't walk up to someone and initiate. This can be perceived as being a snob or standoffish. Which I'm totally not. I am trying to work on this. I miss going on dates...the butterflies...the newness of a new romance. It'll happen for me...and when it does I hope that man can keep up with me because I can be handful. And please let him want to always have fun. No bores allowed.
On a lighter note, we're going camping this weekend! WooHoo! I need a weekend away and what better time can be had that with your closest friends and then some? I think there are about 40-ish of us total. I plan to sit in my camping chair, drink cold beer, eat some damn good food and be with friends. There is no better way to spend a weekend in my opinion. Unless it is on a beach with an adult beverage in a coconut.
I miss my nephew Josh. I worry about him over in Afghanistan every day and hope he is safe. He has always held a special place in my heart...since the day he was born and that will never change...no matter what. We've grown apart over the last year but what hasn't changed is I love him and he is my family. I will always be there for him. I hope he knows how true those words are.
I wish my dad could go one day without pain...just one day. He is such a fighter and it kills me to see him suffer. He is such a good man and he doesn't deserve to have to live this way. It isn't fair. But then again, neither is life. You have to play with the hand you are dealt. So, again, I will be there for him, and my mom, for whatever they need whenever they need it. I was blessed to have such awesome parents, who loved me unconditionally, and I never questioned that. I always knew they had my back. I only wish I could do more for them.
When it comes to dating & flirting I totally fail. In fact, I think I always have. I just want to meet someone and not play any games & all that crap. I'm a cool chick...give me a dive bar and a good cold beer & I'm happy. But my biggest problem is I am shy and I won't walk up to someone and initiate. This can be perceived as being a snob or standoffish. Which I'm totally not. I am trying to work on this. I miss going on dates...the butterflies...the newness of a new romance. It'll happen for me...and when it does I hope that man can keep up with me because I can be handful. And please let him want to always have fun. No bores allowed.
On a lighter note, we're going camping this weekend! WooHoo! I need a weekend away and what better time can be had that with your closest friends and then some? I think there are about 40-ish of us total. I plan to sit in my camping chair, drink cold beer, eat some damn good food and be with friends. There is no better way to spend a weekend in my opinion. Unless it is on a beach with an adult beverage in a coconut.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Racing goals...
Since my budget has been tight lately I've missed out on registering for some races I really wanted to do this season. One being the Tour des Fluers 20k that is this Saturday. Another being the White Rock Half Marathon. I refuse to pay $100 for a race. I just can't justify it. And I waited too long to hop on a relay team. Oh well. I went through the local race calendar and have my eye on some races to do that I think I can work into my budget. So here is my race plan for this season:
10/13/11 Sante Fe Trail 5k
11/06/11 DRC Half Marathon (pacing the 2:40 R/W finish)
11/20/11 Fired Up 5k
11/24/11 Turkey Tro 8 Mile (I NEVER miss this one)
12/04/11 White Rock Marathon Relay (if I can get a team together)
01/22/12 Too Cold to Hold 15k
02/11/12 Hot Chocolate 15k (can't wait to do this one!)
The next 2 are maybes:
02/19/11 Austin Half Marathon
04/15/11 Hog Eye Half Marathon
If you have any other suggestions on good races preferably with nice swag let me know!
10/13/11 Sante Fe Trail 5k
11/06/11 DRC Half Marathon (pacing the 2:40 R/W finish)
11/20/11 Fired Up 5k
11/24/11 Turkey Tro 8 Mile (I NEVER miss this one)
12/04/11 White Rock Marathon Relay (if I can get a team together)
01/22/12 Too Cold to Hold 15k
02/11/12 Hot Chocolate 15k (can't wait to do this one!)
The next 2 are maybes:
02/19/11 Austin Half Marathon
04/15/11 Hog Eye Half Marathon
If you have any other suggestions on good races preferably with nice swag let me know!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)