Saying good-bye...

This past week someone special was taken from my family. She was a bright young woman with so much love in her heart. The only good thing I can say about it is that she is not suffering anymore, but it is the ones left behind that continue to suffer & hurt. My mom & I went to the funeral yesterday. I was reminded why I don't care for funerals. They are sad. I was sad. We walked in, signed the book, found a seat and watched the picture slideshow of her life. I enjoyed watching the photos scroll across cataloging her life and all her acomplishments. She did so much in her 23 years. She had many people there which shows how special she was to all of us. After hearing the wonderful eulogies (sp?) her mom, grandpa and uncle gave I am inspired by her. Jessica volunteered and gave back even when she herself was sick. I am healthy and I don't even do that. Well, I should. And I will. I was blessed to know Jessica. I watched her grow up from afar, and enjoyed seeing the young woman she became. She never complained, not once. She never asked why her...I know I would have. She accepted what she was delt with and did it with a smile on her face. She loved everyone she met. She was the most forgiving person I know. She will be missed by all those that knew & loved her. And those lives she touched & changed will never be the same :-).

Jessica - I won't say good-bye...I'll say see you later. I will always regret not spending more time with you while you were here and for not seeing you in the days before you passed on. But I will always remember the little girl that swam in my pool, would sing & dance Achy, Breaky Heart to me & mom (Nana Trish) to make us laugh, and called me Aunt TeTe.

I have nothing to hide...

I try to be an open & honest person...to everyone. I am an open book, I have nothing to hide. I do not apologize for who I am or what I do. I like to think that makes me a strong person. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. I really don't care. Some people like me, some don't. I don't care if you don't like me...that's fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. You can look at my Facebook page and see everywhere I've been & with who. I like to be with my friends...a lot of times that is usally at a bar somewhere. Does this make me look like a partier or alcoholic? Maybe. But once again, I don't care. I like to go out & have a good time with my friends. I like to drink beer sometimes. I bring all this up because it was brought to my attention how my Facebook page might make me look. My answer to this...I DON'T CARE what others think of me. I am an adult. I pay my own bills. I know who I am and the ones close to me know also. I am very loyal, caring and compassionate to the ones I hold dear. I would do ANYTHING for them. I tend to put other people first before myself. I will go without to make sure others have what they need or want. I know this is who I am. So whatever other people think of me - I really don't care. They have their reasons for judging me. Life is too short to be anything than who you are. I don't try to hide who I am and I know I will never change who I am. I am me...take it or leave it.

And I thought we were friends...

So here I am at work...working away and my BFF IMs me...here is the conversation. If you really know me and know my severe phobia of bugs...you can see me sitting at my desk shivering in fear at these photos...but damn it if I don't love her anyway. :-)

Melissa:
And you thought june bugs were freaky
http://i.imgur.com/Ngd3p.jpg

Tisha:
why would you do that to me?

Melissa:
LMFAO
There's a butterfly :)

Tisha:
what have i ever done to you?
i thought we were BFFs...lol

Melissa:
lol
I'm just trying to put your fear of bugs into perspective...it could be so much worse!

Tisha:
yeah
IN THE JUNGLE

Melissa:
See!
:D

Tisha:
i will never be in the jungle
lol

Melissa:
Here...this will make it better
http://i.imgur.com/Ai2la.jpg

Tisha:
much better
kittens will redeem you...ones that don't poop on the floor and cover it up.

Melissa:
http://i.imgur.com/yjU7Y.gif

Tisha:
I want that cat!

Will he ever catch a break?

I wish that I had a magic wand that would fix my dad's health forever. But that is all it is...wishful thinking. He had surgery before Thanksgiving (11/17) to remove the toes on his left foot. His donation to diabetes he said. We hoped for an easy surgery and stress free recovery. Sadly, this did not happen. On Monday 11/22 I got a phone call while out with friends that his inscision had burst open and he was taken to the ER. I rushed over to pick up mom and we went to the hospital they took him to. The ER doctors there did not close him up, said he'd have to see his surgeon at Parkland. So they got the bleeding to stop and sent him home. The next day (11/23) we went into the surgeons office and he found the problem. A tiny artery had un-carterized (sp?) itself and was bleeding inside his foot. The build up of pressure caused the inscision to burst. He sewed it closed, packed his foot, rewrapped it & sent him home. The surgeon made a house call on Thanksgiving Day to redress the foot and again the following Sunday (11/28). Dad had a follow up visit on 11/29 with the wound care clinic and the surgeon came down to check it again. Some of the tissue had died so it had to be removed. Next appointment was 12/1 and the surgeon said dad needed another surgery to take a little more of his foot in order to close it up. It was scheduled for 12/8. That visit to the hospital was all screwed up. He checked in on Tuesday the 7th and stayed overnight. He didn't go into surgery on the 8th until after 10pm...that is over 24 hours with no food or anything to drink! I understand emergencies come up, so reschedule his surgery for the following day so the man can eat! Suregery went ok as far as we knew. Friday the 10th he was to go back into surgery to close the foot up. This didn't happen until Saturday the 11th. He finally got to come home on Dec. 14th, cast & all. He was sent home with a PIC line and has to do 6 weeks of IV antibiotics 3 times a day because there is infection in the bone. He had a cast on his foot/leg for 2 weeks after being home. Follow up visit #1 revealed the foot has reopened. The surgeon has decided to let it heal from the inside out. Follow up visit #2 the cast came off. Follow up visit #3, which was yesterday, totally wiped him out. The surgeon poked & prodded (sp?) in his foot and had it bleeding pretty bad. A health care person is set to come by 3 times a week to hook up some sort of pump to his open foot to help drain it and possibly help it heal. I am so upset for my dad. He doesn't deserve all this. He is a good man. I wish there was something I could do, but there isn't. And that completely kills me.

What I am thankful for...

Around this time of year I think about all the things I am thankful for. There are so many things I thought I'd list them all out in no particular order.

1. My dad...he is the strongest person I know
2. My mom..she is ALWAYS there for me
3. My family...near or far I love them
4. My friends...they are there to support me in all I do and all I go through
5. My health...enough said
6. My ability to run...there are so many who can't, won't or don't
7. My job...I've been there 9 years now and know how blessed I am
8. Our military...they keep us free and safe
9. CatDog and SpongeBob...even though they are only cats, they are my kids and love me unconditionally...
10. A roof over my head and a car to drive...

He will always be my daddy...and my hero.

I've blogged before about my family and how much they all mean to me. I have been VERY blessed with awesome parents who raised me well...if I do say so myself. I think I turned out ok. Recently my family had to band together again and help dad through this last crisis. As he has said to several people, he donated the toes on his left foot to diabetes. His surgery went well and he is home again, only spending 2 days in the hospital. We knew this was coming for a while, and we prepared ourselves. Dad was ok with the surgery if it meant the ucleurs (sp?) stopped. He has spent every day of the last 8 months cleaning, changing and dressing this one wound. The surgeon said taking the toes will eliminate this...hopefully for good. I like his surgeon, nice guy. He answered all my questions on a level I can understand him, I mean come on, I don't speak Dr. I'm ok with him "dumbing" it down for me if it means I know exactly what will happen to dad. I went by Thursday after work to visit with daddy and bring him some food. The surgeon came by why I was there to change his dressing. Knowing the toes were gone and how much they had planned to take and actually SEEING it are 2 totally different things...and I was not as prepared as I thought I was. I know this surgery had to happen, and I want my daddy around for a while...but it breaks my heart he has to go through this. I started to tear up and had to look away. My dad is my hero. As a little girl he was invincible to me. And as an adult he still is. He is the strongest person I know. He is always there when I ned advice, help, guidance. He never judges, he just loves. He is honest and true. What you see is what you get. He is NOT letting diabetes take control of him. Yes, they battle it out, but my dad will ALWAYS win. I am his biggest fan. I will be there for him NO matter what...no matter what time...no matter what I'm doing. Thank you to all of you who have prayed, checked in on us and everyone that cares. Keep it all coming as his recovery will take some time. But he is a fighter and he has a lot of fight left in him! I love you daddy!

UPDATE 11/24/10: We had to call 911 and have dad rushed to the ER on Monday night. Long story short some of his staples popped off and he was bleeding from his incision. EMS rushed him to the closest hosptial but the doctors there would not close it back up...they said he has to see HIS surgeon. They bandaged him back up & sent him home. I took him to see his surgeon first thing on Tuesday. His foot was not bleeding when we left the house, but when we got back to the room & the Dr came in, it was bleeding...and bleeding A LOT. The surgeon located where it was bleeding from and it was a small artery inside his foot. He sewed it shut and we are hoping that will be the end of that. The surgeon is going to make a house call on Friday to my parent's house to check dad's foot again and I am hoping he will close it back up. So the assumption is that this artery was bleeding INSIDE his foot, filling it with blood and that is what made the staples pop off like they did. Now I saw dad's foot post surgery in the hospital when the Dr changed the bandages, but seeing it yesterday...I really wish I'd have left the room. It is to date the hardest thing for me and I can't even imagine how he feels about it. He is stubborn & hard headed and as a family we will get through this and he will heal, it will just take a little longer now.

Palo Duro 20k

I am late in posting my blog on this experience, but better late than never! Here is how the story goes...

My BFF Melissa decided this race was to be her goal race. I thought why not do it too? It fell in line with my training schedule...was supposed to do 12 miles that day anyway...what's .5 more? Now when I registered I read the name of the race: Palo Duro Canyon Trail Run. I thought trail run...meh...there are trails around White Rock. I've done hash runs on trails before, no biggie. Boy was I wrong! This race was much harder than I ever predicted. I showed up at the start to run with Melissa, stick with her through out the race, keep her motivated and encouraged. I treated it as a training run and not a race. To me it was more important to see her reach her goal!

So about the race & course itself. I knew it'd be somewhat of a challenge, but I wasn’t at all prepared for the ups and downs of the trail. I am pretty sure after this experience I can say that I’m 98% a road runner. I got sightings of the road during the race and wanted just a little pavement. I got some…like 10 feet. A few places on the course spit us out onto the road for just a taste of road and asphalt, then sent us back onto the trail. Thanks for the teaser. We started at 7:30 am, just as the sun was rising over the canyon. It was such a beautiful site! The first 3 miles were not hard at all, so we felt pretty good. We were thinking this was going to be a breeze! Then around mile 4ish when we started the up & down climbs, we took back the "this is easy". The up & down climbs lasted pretty much the majority of the race...some were short, some were long, but all were difficult. The aid/water stations were so much better than road races. We had our choice of the following: water, gatorade, Coke, M&Ms, candy bars, potato chips, sliced bananas adn the BEST of all: PB&J squares. Can you say heaven! The volunteers were so nice & encouraging...they'd even talk to you untile you were ready to run again. There is a different mindset and attitude with trail runners vs. road racers. They aren't focused on a PR, and if they are you'd never know it. At the mile 9 aid station there was a mama deer that was hanging out eating sliced bananas...it was an awesome site. And also at mile 9 was the stair case of death. Our legs were already becoming shaky, then we have to manuever a nearly vertical decent down to a clearing where a photographer was waiting was intimidating. And what a crappy place for a photo op. You either look frightened or thankful to have survived without injury. We had to go down these satirs of death step by step holding on to tree branches for dear life. Melissa slipped a couple of times and I kep telling her not to fall...I didn't have any band-aids. :-).

The majority of the second half of the trail was walking...and that was fine by us! We were saving it for a strong finish! We rounded the corner and could hear all our friends who had already finished yelling & cheering for us! I love that! It always gives me an extra burst of energy! We made it across the finish! Melissa's Garmin clocked 3:57:24. Fine by me...so many things were not in our favor...Melissa was sick and fighting allergies the entire run, it was not a road race which is all I've ran up to this point, and it was a challenging course. The remaining question is: Where are the cheeseburgers and beer??

Melissa, I am so proud of you for putting the hours & miles and completing your goal race...sick and all! You did great! The Las Vegas half will be a piece of cake now! Keep up all the good work!

Thanks to Melissa & Dave for letting me tag along. The canyon is georgous and I'd love to go back.

Next up: DRC half & White Rock half.