Wednesday, December 21, 2011

If a man really wants you...

I saw this article/blog written by someone else and I have to say I agree with every word. And there are a couple of things I am guilty of so it is nice to be reminded of that. Pass this advice along...

If a Man Wants You

By: Salma Rumman

This advice was passed along to me from a counselor; it was great to hear so I wanted to share it.

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t "be friends." A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else’s man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.

All men are not dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.

Dating is fun; even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him — he takes it for granted.

Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies. You’ll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.


Saturday, November 5, 2011


Well...tomorrow morning I will be running half marathon #9. And for some unknown reason I have no emotions about it either way. Usually I feel nervous or excited or both before a race. This time I'm just "meh". I'm not sure how to feel about that. Maybe part of it is I wish my parents could see me race. I't mean the world to me to have my dad and mom see me cross the finish line. I've had friends come out & cheer me on out on the course, but I've never really had anyone at the finish line cheering me on as I cross it. Maybe I'm being a silly girl, but it'd mean a lot to me to have that. Andit'd mean even more if it were my family. But I know my dad's health issues will not allow it. He isn't able to stand around for over 2 and a half hours waiting for me to finish. I can only hope one day he can. Maybe once his foot completely heals & he gets a new hip he can do things. I wish for that more than anything.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

My heart/mind is heavy.

I am the type of person that will hold her emotions in and put on a brave face for the world...until I reach a certain point.  I get it from my dad.  Well, I've reached that point.  I have to vent, and what better way than to just blog it.  It is my blog and I can vent if I want to.

I miss my nephew Josh.  I worry about him over in Afghanistan every day and hope he is safe.  He has always held a special place in my heart...since the day he was born and that will never matter what.  We've grown apart over the last year but what hasn't changed is I love him and he is my family.  I will always be there for him.  I hope he knows how true those words are. 

I wish my dad could go one day without pain...just one day.  He is such a fighter and it kills me to see him suffer.  He is such a good man and he doesn't deserve to have to live this way.  It isn't fair.  But then again, neither is life.  You have to play with the hand you are dealt.  So, again, I will be there for him, and my mom, for whatever they need whenever they need it.  I was blessed to have such awesome parents, who loved me unconditionally, and I never questioned that.  I always knew they had my back.  I only wish I could do more for them.

When it comes to dating & flirting I totally fail.  In fact, I think I always have.  I just want to meet someone and not play any games & all that crap.  I'm a cool chick...give me a dive bar and a good cold beer & I'm happy.  But my biggest problem is I am shy and I won't walk up to someone and initiate.  This can be perceived as being a snob or standoffish.  Which I'm totally not.  I am trying to work on this.  I miss going on dates...the butterflies...the newness of a new romance.  It'll happen for me...and when it does I hope that man can keep up with me because I can be handful.  And please let him want to always have fun.  No bores allowed.

On a lighter note, we're going camping this weekend! WooHoo!  I need a weekend away and what better time can be had that with your closest friends and then some?  I think there are about 40-ish of us total.  I plan to sit in my camping chair, drink cold beer, eat some damn good food and be with friends.  There is no better way to spend a weekend in my opinion.  Unless it is on a beach with an adult beverage in a coconut.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Racing goals...

Since my budget has been tight lately I've missed out on registering for some races I really wanted to do this season.  One being the Tour des Fluers 20k that is this Saturday.  Another being the White Rock Half Marathon.  I refuse to pay $100 for a race.  I just can't justify it.  And I waited too long to hop on a relay team.  Oh well.  I went through the local race calendar and have my eye on some races to do that I think I can work into my budget. So here is my race plan for this season:

10/13/11 Sante Fe Trail 5k
11/06/11 DRC Half Marathon (pacing the 2:40 R/W finish)
11/20/11 Fired Up 5k
11/24/11 Turkey Tro 8 Mile (I NEVER miss this one)
12/04/11 White Rock Marathon Relay (if I can get a team together)
01/22/12 Too Cold to Hold 15k
02/11/12 Hot Chocolate 15k (can't wait to do this one!)
The next 2 are maybes:
02/19/11 Austin Half Marathon
04/15/11 Hog Eye Half Marathon

If you have any other suggestions on good races preferably with nice swag let me know!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

This is my bitch were warned...

There are so many thoughts running through my mind lately...I keep saying I need to blog about it, but I don't. Then they keep running around in there and clogging it up.  Class started last week and I'm already a week behind...awesome! Go me!  I'm tired of being broke.  I need a financial windfall...SOON! There are so many things I want to do and races I want to run, but you can't if the $$$ is tight.  I'm tired of sandwiches and popcorn for dinner.  I wish CatDog would get a damn job to help out...oh well. I have food on the table and gas in the car.  My bills are paid so I know it could be worse.  But damn...I miss having fun.  I also miss my nephew.  I want my dad to get better and not have anymore set backs.  It kills me to see him hurting and in pain.  I wish the pointless drama would go away.  I wish people would mind their own business and worry about themselves.  I wish I could do something special for my friends to show them how much they mean to me.  I want to go visit Zak.  I miss his hugs. 

Ok I'm done...tomorrow will hopefully be a better day.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

One Day You Will - Lady Antebellum

You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now


But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet

[Repeat Chorus]

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

[Repeat Chorus]

One day you will
Oh one day you will

This is my new theme song for now...

Monday, July 11, 2011

The smell of disappointment...

I reek of it. I am so disappointed in myself lately from my lack of motivation and general laziness...especially when it comes to my running. I had regsitered for the DRC Independence Day 10k and on race day downgraded to the 5k. I did the same thing yesterday at the Too Hot To Handle 15k...race day I downgraded to the 5k. Why? It was hot, yes. And I know I do not run well in the heat. I haven't ran much this summer at all due to said heat. But those are excuses. It is WAY too easy for me to talk myself out of running. How can I get in to a better mind set to do better about my running? All the weight I've lost over the last couple of years I've put back on. Great. I've completely given up on Weight Watchers. I do not have the best DNA handed down to me...I know this. I know I need to be healthy and take care of myself. Yet, I haven't been. And when I think about it I get disappointed in myself...I know I can & should do better. I've just been in a rut and can't seem to get out. I want to...I just don't. How do I fix this???

Born this way...

"I'm beautiful in my way, 'Cause God makes no mistakes. I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way". - Lady Gaga

Wow...what a message. I watched Glee the other night and the message was to love & accept yourself...good & bad because it makes us who we are. I completely agree with that, yet I have the hardest time doing so. There are several things I'd love to change about myself. I see a few flaws in me that my friends do not...they think I'm silly. Maybe they are right. But they do support me in the changes I do want to make. All my life I've struggled with my self-esteem...even to this day. I know what a beautiful person I am...I really do, but I have a hard time seeing it physically. When I was younger, in my teenage years, I was very thin. Even then I thought I was I'd love to go back & slap the teenager me. As I got older I packed on the pounds. And I will tell you at 34 it is A LOT easier to gain it than it is to lose it. You would think because I run often that'd help...and it did at first. I joined Weight Watchers to help kick start it, and it is...SLOWLY. I want to be able to throw on a swimsuit and not be self conscious (sp?) about how I look. And I can tell you I know this is my issue...and that I should just deal with it and get over it. And one day I will. I know I need to accept myself just the way I am, because I am a beautiful person. Sometimes it is just hard.

I think everyone has something about them they'd like to change. In my case it is to lose weight. Partly because I want to be healthy when I'm older and partly so I can of vanity. I've always said I am an open book and I will put it all out there. Sometimes it is theraputic for just get it out. I am going to really try and live by the following statement...

We should all embrace what makes us who we are and different from the person sitting next to us :)

Monday, June 27, 2011

The Ex Factor

So there you are...running into the store to pick up 2 or 3 items when you notice your ex...and his new woman. And you think to yourself, he never went shopping with me. Or held my hand in public. Then you get to thinking and wondering why didn't he do those things with you? Then you get disappointed in yourself for even caring. I mean come on, you have more important things to care/wonder/worry about. Why give it any thought. But you did, and for some reason it was a blow to your ego and it makes you mad at yourself for letting it effect you at all. So, you grab your few items unnoticed and go home wishing everyone happiness.

Friday, June 17, 2011

It's been a while...

It has been a while since I blogged. I have so much I want to say, so much running through my head 24/7, but I can't get it all into coherent sentences and phrases. I try to sit down, collect it all, but no luck. At night I jsut want my brain to shut off so I can sleep...which doesn't happen. I plan to stay low-key this weekend...hit the pool again. Maybe then I can gather my thoughts enough to sort it all out. Who knows?

Friday, May 27, 2011

Saying good-bye...

This past week someone special was taken from my family. She was a bright young woman with so much love in her heart. The only good thing I can say about it is that she is not suffering anymore, but it is the ones left behind that continue to suffer & hurt. My mom & I went to the funeral yesterday. I was reminded why I don't care for funerals. They are sad. I was sad. We walked in, signed the book, found a seat and watched the picture slideshow of her life. I enjoyed watching the photos scroll across cataloging her life and all her acomplishments. She did so much in her 23 years. She had many people there which shows how special she was to all of us. After hearing the wonderful eulogies (sp?) her mom, grandpa and uncle gave I am inspired by her. Jessica volunteered and gave back even when she herself was sick. I am healthy and I don't even do that. Well, I should. And I will. I was blessed to know Jessica. I watched her grow up from afar, and enjoyed seeing the young woman she became. She never complained, not once. She never asked why her...I know I would have. She accepted what she was delt with and did it with a smile on her face. She loved everyone she met. She was the most forgiving person I know. She will be missed by all those that knew & loved her. And those lives she touched & changed will never be the same :-).

Jessica - I won't say good-bye...I'll say see you later. I will always regret not spending more time with you while you were here and for not seeing you in the days before you passed on. But I will always remember the little girl that swam in my pool, would sing & dance Achy, Breaky Heart to me & mom (Nana Trish) to make us laugh, and called me Aunt TeTe.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I have nothing to hide...

I try to be an open & honest everyone. I am an open book, I have nothing to hide. I do not apologize for who I am or what I do. I like to think that makes me a strong person. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. I really don't care. Some people like me, some don't. I don't care if you don't like me...that's fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. You can look at my Facebook page and see everywhere I've been & with who. I like to be with my friends...a lot of times that is usally at a bar somewhere. Does this make me look like a partier or alcoholic? Maybe. But once again, I don't care. I like to go out & have a good time with my friends. I like to drink beer sometimes. I bring all this up because it was brought to my attention how my Facebook page might make me look. My answer to this...I DON'T CARE what others think of me. I am an adult. I pay my own bills. I know who I am and the ones close to me know also. I am very loyal, caring and compassionate to the ones I hold dear. I would do ANYTHING for them. I tend to put other people first before myself. I will go without to make sure others have what they need or want. I know this is who I am. So whatever other people think of me - I really don't care. They have their reasons for judging me. Life is too short to be anything than who you are. I don't try to hide who I am and I know I will never change who I am. I am me...take it or leave it.

Friday, March 25, 2011

And I thought we were friends...

So here I am at work...working away and my BFF IMs is the conversation. If you really know me and know my severe phobia of can see me sitting at my desk shivering in fear at these photos...but damn it if I don't love her anyway. :-)

And you thought june bugs were freaky

why would you do that to me?

There's a butterfly :)

what have i ever done to you?
i thought we were

I'm just trying to put your fear of bugs into could be so much worse!



i will never be in the jungle

Here...this will make it better

much better
kittens will redeem you...ones that don't poop on the floor and cover it up.


I want that cat!