Monday, December 20, 2010

Will he ever catch a break?

I wish that I had a magic wand that would fix my dad's health forever. But that is all it is...wishful thinking. He had surgery before Thanksgiving (11/17) to remove the toes on his left foot. His donation to diabetes he said. We hoped for an easy surgery and stress free recovery. Sadly, this did not happen. On Monday 11/22 I got a phone call while out with friends that his inscision had burst open and he was taken to the ER. I rushed over to pick up mom and we went to the hospital they took him to. The ER doctors there did not close him up, said he'd have to see his surgeon at Parkland. So they got the bleeding to stop and sent him home. The next day (11/23) we went into the surgeons office and he found the problem. A tiny artery had un-carterized (sp?) itself and was bleeding inside his foot. The build up of pressure caused the inscision to burst. He sewed it closed, packed his foot, rewrapped it & sent him home. The surgeon made a house call on Thanksgiving Day to redress the foot and again the following Sunday (11/28). Dad had a follow up visit on 11/29 with the wound care clinic and the surgeon came down to check it again. Some of the tissue had died so it had to be removed. Next appointment was 12/1 and the surgeon said dad needed another surgery to take a little more of his foot in order to close it up. It was scheduled for 12/8. That visit to the hospital was all screwed up. He checked in on Tuesday the 7th and stayed overnight. He didn't go into surgery on the 8th until after 10pm...that is over 24 hours with no food or anything to drink! I understand emergencies come up, so reschedule his surgery for the following day so the man can eat! Suregery went ok as far as we knew. Friday the 10th he was to go back into surgery to close the foot up. This didn't happen until Saturday the 11th. He finally got to come home on Dec. 14th, cast & all. He was sent home with a PIC line and has to do 6 weeks of IV antibiotics 3 times a day because there is infection in the bone. He had a cast on his foot/leg for 2 weeks after being home. Follow up visit #1 revealed the foot has reopened. The surgeon has decided to let it heal from the inside out. Follow up visit #2 the cast came off. Follow up visit #3, which was yesterday, totally wiped him out. The surgeon poked & prodded (sp?) in his foot and had it bleeding pretty bad. A health care person is set to come by 3 times a week to hook up some sort of pump to his open foot to help drain it and possibly help it heal. I am so upset for my dad. He doesn't deserve all this. He is a good man. I wish there was something I could do, but there isn't. And that completely kills me.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

What I am thankful for...

Around this time of year I think about all the things I am thankful for. There are so many things I thought I'd list them all out in no particular order.

1. My dad...he is the strongest person I know
2. My mom..she is ALWAYS there for me
3. My family...near or far I love them
4. My friends...they are there to support me in all I do and all I go through
5. My health...enough said
6. My ability to run...there are so many who can't, won't or don't
7. My job...I've been there 9 years now and know how blessed I am
8. Our military...they keep us free and safe
9. CatDog and SpongeBob...even though they are only cats, they are my kids and love me unconditionally...
10. A roof over my head and a car to drive...

Sunday, November 21, 2010

He will always be my daddy...and my hero.

I've blogged before about my family and how much they all mean to me. I have been VERY blessed with awesome parents who raised me well...if I do say so myself. I think I turned out ok. Recently my family had to band together again and help dad through this last crisis. As he has said to several people, he donated the toes on his left foot to diabetes. His surgery went well and he is home again, only spending 2 days in the hospital. We knew this was coming for a while, and we prepared ourselves. Dad was ok with the surgery if it meant the ucleurs (sp?) stopped. He has spent every day of the last 8 months cleaning, changing and dressing this one wound. The surgeon said taking the toes will eliminate this...hopefully for good. I like his surgeon, nice guy. He answered all my questions on a level I can understand him, I mean come on, I don't speak Dr. I'm ok with him "dumbing" it down for me if it means I know exactly what will happen to dad. I went by Thursday after work to visit with daddy and bring him some food. The surgeon came by why I was there to change his dressing. Knowing the toes were gone and how much they had planned to take and actually SEEING it are 2 totally different things...and I was not as prepared as I thought I was. I know this surgery had to happen, and I want my daddy around for a while...but it breaks my heart he has to go through this. I started to tear up and had to look away. My dad is my hero. As a little girl he was invincible to me. And as an adult he still is. He is the strongest person I know. He is always there when I ned advice, help, guidance. He never judges, he just loves. He is honest and true. What you see is what you get. He is NOT letting diabetes take control of him. Yes, they battle it out, but my dad will ALWAYS win. I am his biggest fan. I will be there for him NO matter matter what matter what I'm doing. Thank you to all of you who have prayed, checked in on us and everyone that cares. Keep it all coming as his recovery will take some time. But he is a fighter and he has a lot of fight left in him! I love you daddy!

UPDATE 11/24/10: We had to call 911 and have dad rushed to the ER on Monday night. Long story short some of his staples popped off and he was bleeding from his incision. EMS rushed him to the closest hosptial but the doctors there would not close it back up...they said he has to see HIS surgeon. They bandaged him back up & sent him home. I took him to see his surgeon first thing on Tuesday. His foot was not bleeding when we left the house, but when we got back to the room & the Dr came in, it was bleeding...and bleeding A LOT. The surgeon located where it was bleeding from and it was a small artery inside his foot. He sewed it shut and we are hoping that will be the end of that. The surgeon is going to make a house call on Friday to my parent's house to check dad's foot again and I am hoping he will close it back up. So the assumption is that this artery was bleeding INSIDE his foot, filling it with blood and that is what made the staples pop off like they did. Now I saw dad's foot post surgery in the hospital when the Dr changed the bandages, but seeing it yesterday...I really wish I'd have left the room. It is to date the hardest thing for me and I can't even imagine how he feels about it. He is stubborn & hard headed and as a family we will get through this and he will heal, it will just take a little longer now.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Palo Duro 20k

I am late in posting my blog on this experience, but better late than never! Here is how the story goes...

My BFF Melissa decided this race was to be her goal race. I thought why not do it too? It fell in line with my training schedule...was supposed to do 12 miles that day anyway...what's .5 more? Now when I registered I read the name of the race: Palo Duro Canyon Trail Run. I thought trail run...meh...there are trails around White Rock. I've done hash runs on trails before, no biggie. Boy was I wrong! This race was much harder than I ever predicted. I showed up at the start to run with Melissa, stick with her through out the race, keep her motivated and encouraged. I treated it as a training run and not a race. To me it was more important to see her reach her goal!

So about the race & course itself. I knew it'd be somewhat of a challenge, but I wasn’t at all prepared for the ups and downs of the trail. I am pretty sure after this experience I can say that I’m 98% a road runner. I got sightings of the road during the race and wanted just a little pavement. I got some…like 10 feet. A few places on the course spit us out onto the road for just a taste of road and asphalt, then sent us back onto the trail. Thanks for the teaser. We started at 7:30 am, just as the sun was rising over the canyon. It was such a beautiful site! The first 3 miles were not hard at all, so we felt pretty good. We were thinking this was going to be a breeze! Then around mile 4ish when we started the up & down climbs, we took back the "this is easy". The up & down climbs lasted pretty much the majority of the race...some were short, some were long, but all were difficult. The aid/water stations were so much better than road races. We had our choice of the following: water, gatorade, Coke, M&Ms, candy bars, potato chips, sliced bananas adn the BEST of all: PB&J squares. Can you say heaven! The volunteers were so nice & encouraging...they'd even talk to you untile you were ready to run again. There is a different mindset and attitude with trail runners vs. road racers. They aren't focused on a PR, and if they are you'd never know it. At the mile 9 aid station there was a mama deer that was hanging out eating sliced was an awesome site. And also at mile 9 was the stair case of death. Our legs were already becoming shaky, then we have to manuever a nearly vertical decent down to a clearing where a photographer was waiting was intimidating. And what a crappy place for a photo op. You either look frightened or thankful to have survived without injury. We had to go down these satirs of death step by step holding on to tree branches for dear life. Melissa slipped a couple of times and I kep telling her not to fall...I didn't have any band-aids. :-).

The majority of the second half of the trail was walking...and that was fine by us! We were saving it for a strong finish! We rounded the corner and could hear all our friends who had already finished yelling & cheering for us! I love that! It always gives me an extra burst of energy! We made it across the finish! Melissa's Garmin clocked 3:57:24. Fine by many things were not in our favor...Melissa was sick and fighting allergies the entire run, it was not a road race which is all I've ran up to this point, and it was a challenging course. The remaining question is: Where are the cheeseburgers and beer??

Melissa, I am so proud of you for putting the hours & miles and completing your goal race...sick and all! You did great! The Las Vegas half will be a piece of cake now! Keep up all the good work!

Thanks to Melissa & Dave for letting me tag along. The canyon is georgous and I'd love to go back.

Next up: DRC half & White Rock half.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Motivation...or lack there of.

I have been in a rut lately. A huge one. The internet defines motivation as an incentive or reason for doing something. It seems lately I can't find all. I have completely slacked off in my class and it isn't even a hard class to take. The subject matter is pretty easy...just a lot of reading. The last 2 semesters my heart just hasn't been in it. I want to and need to finish my degree, I just can't find the motivation I had when I started back to school in the Fall of 2009. My house is a wreck. I've never been a super clean freak, but it was always decent. I wouldn't be embarrassed to have people over. Right now, I'd have to spend a good full day cleaning before I'd let someone step foot in the front door. It isn't like it is disgusting, just cluttered and dusty. I have hoarding tendancies, but mostly with canned my house isn't waist deep in sale ads from 1997 or anything...don't want you getting the wrong idea. :-). Besides school and housework what has taken a huge hit from my lack of motivation is my running...and for some reason that bothers me the most. By this time last year I had accumulated 25.64 more miles in training than I have today, and that was with a month off due to an injury. For the year 2009 I had a total of 441.57 miles. I'm not sure I'll hit that mark for 2010...I know I won't beat it at the rate I'm going. I'm lost as to how to get my mojo back. I'm not sure how I lost it. All I know is I want to find my motivation again...and quick! What do I do?

Thursday, September 30, 2010

How to Poop at Work...or in public...

This email has been going around for years but I received it again today and couldn't stop laughing so I felt the needto share the laughter. Because let's face it...poop is funny! Enjoy!

We have all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, the following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.

ESCAPEE - definition: A fart the slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee,do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE) - definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH - definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME - definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be very a uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER - definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see on Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arms. Always looks around the office for the out of the Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN) - definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the where abouts of Out of the Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS - definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominately of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR - definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH - definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON , or to alert potential Turd Burglers. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE - definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglers that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON - definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon is coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMLET - definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED - definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

FLY BY - definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

My bucket list

I think everyone has a bucket list of some sort...a list of things to accomplish before kicking the bucket. Here is my list in no particular order.

  1. Travel to Italy, Greece, Spain, Ireland, Ausrtraila, South Africa and South America.
  2. Run a full marathon.
  3. Learn to play an instrument...either piano or guitar.
  4. Find true love.
  5. Take ballroom dance lessons.
  6. Learn Spanish.
  7. Get married in a white chapel in Las Vegas by Elvis...a fat Elvis in a white rhinestone jumpsuit.
  8. Go to the Grand Canyon.
  9. Take a creative writing class.
  10. Finish my degree.
  11. Scuba dive.
  12. Go to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
  13. Go island hopping in the Caribbean.
  14. Take an art class
  15. Learn to say no without feeling guilty.
  16. Swim with dolphins.
  17. See a play or musical on Broadway.
  18. Write a short story or book.
  19. Organize my home better and do better about cleaning it.
  20. Adopt a dog.

Friday, September 3, 2010

10 reasons to have a man around the house...

1. To change the lighbulbs & get things off the top shelves and/or places I can't reach.
2. To take out the stinky trash.
3. To carry the grocery/Wal-Mart/Target bags in from the car.
4. Around the hose fix-ups - hanging curtains (they've been waiting to be hung up for 4 months now), ungog the drains, hook up electronics, etc.
5. Someone to cook dinner for.
6. Someone to come home to & talk about our days.
7. To have someone to watch the big girl TV with on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
8. To vaccuum and dust while I do dishes & laundry.
9. To help rearrange the furniture.
10. To rub my feet after a long run while sharing a ice cold beer.

Am I wanting too much??? I think not.

Monday, August 23, 2010

I'm going to miss him so much...

Yesterday, my nephew Josh left for Alaska where he is stationed until he deploys. He was home for 17 days after graduating from bootcamp & AIT training. I didn't get to spend much time with him, but the few precious hours I did on Saturday I will cherish. My parents & I went to DFW to see him off along with other family members. I stayed back & didn't hover like I wanted to, to give him & Tiffany & Preston family time. I did make sure I got a long hug in before he left to depart. Watching him go through airport secruity was hard, and it was even harder to hold back the tears. I have always been close to Josh. I've always felt he is someone I can confide in and vice versa, even though there is a slight age difference. He is a man now, with a family of his own and I could not be prouder of him and the man he is becoming. I hate that he is so far away, far away from his family...but I know he will succeed in his training and learn so much at Ft. Wainwright. I'm not sure if he will ever read this, but Josh I love you and can't wait to hear from you!

Monday, July 26, 2010

I am a Great Aunt!

A few weeks ago, my nephew Josh's son was born. Preston Blake entered the world at 4:41pm on July 20, 2010 weighing in at 8lbs 1oz and measuring 20-3/4" long. I got to stay in the room and watching him blaze into this world is an experience I will never forget & will always cherish. I got a text from Tiffany, his girlfriend, at around 3:45 saying she was in labor. About 4:30-5:00 she texted saying she had been admitted and hooked up to machines. I told myself I better get up & head up there so I don't miss anything. I got to the hospital around 7am and the waiting began. Tiffany got her epideral (sp?) around 8am-ish and napped a lot throughout the day. She went from 7cm to 9cm in a matter of 45 minutes. Around 1pm she started pushing, but Preston wasn't low enough so the nurse suggested she take a break and reposition to see if that will help push him down a little lower. Around 3:50pm-ish she started pushing again. This time it was for real. After about 30 minutes I could see his head crowning! We kept encouraging her to push harder and not too much longer he was out! The doctor put him on Tiff's tummy and her mom cut the cord. The nurses wisked him away to start cleaning him up. I could not believe how beautiful he was...well minus the cone head. :-). He finally cried for the first time and then I knew everything was ok. I started taking pictures of him instantly! I am so proud of Tiffany...she was a trooper through the whole delivery. She didn't cry, scream, curse or throw anything...she just pushed. There were so many people there waiting to meet little Preston...he is not ever going to lack in the love department...that is for sure! Here are a few pictures from over the last 3 weeks.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Half boy-Half man

I wish I could take credit for writing this, but I can not. I stole it from a high school friend's husband who is an ex-marine. This reminds me of my nephew Josh, who at 19 left for Army bootcamp in April and graduates on August 6th...a few weeks after his son will be born. Then he will be stationed at Ft. Wainwright in Fairbanks, Alaska, deploying to Afghanistan in March I believe. I have watched this young man grow up since the day he was born. He was such a mischievous child...always in to something. But he was a very sweet and loving boy. And thank goodness he still is. Like most men he doesn't show his emotions much, but his heart is huge & full of love. I miss him like crazy and worry about him daily, but I am so proud of the man he is becoming. I know he will be a great dad to little Preston (once he gets here). Anyway, even if you do not agree with the war, support our troops and hug a soldier. They fight and put their lives on the line for us. I love you Josh & I am so proud of you!

1/2 boy 1/2 man

If you read this, you WILL forward it on. You just won't be able to stop yourself. The average age of the military man is 19 years. He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country. He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father's, but he has never collected unemployment either.

He's a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student, pursued some form of sport activities, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to be waiting when he returns from half a world away. He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz or swing and a 155mm howitzer. He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting from before dawn to well after dusk. He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark. He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must. He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional. He can march until he is told to stop, or stop until he is told to march. He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity. He is self-sufficient. He has two sets of fatigues: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his canteens full and his feet dry. He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts. If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He'll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low. He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands. He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job.

He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay, and still find ironic humor in it all. He has seen more suffering and death than he should have in his short lifetime.

He has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combat and is unashamed. He feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through his body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to 'square-away ' those around him who haven't bothered to stand, remove their hat, or even stop talking. In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, he defends their right to be disrespectful. Just as did his Father, Grandfather, and Great-grandfather, he is paying the price for our freedom. Beardless or not, he is not a boy. He is the American Fighting Man that has kept this country free for over 200 years.

He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship and understanding. Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood. And now we even have women over there in danger, doing their part in this tradition of going to War when our nation calls us to do so.

As you go to bed tonight, remember this shot. . .

A short lull, a little shade and a picture of loved ones in their helmets. Prayer wheel for our military... please don't break it Please send this on after a short prayer. Prayer Wheel 'Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen.' When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our ground troops, sailors on ships, and airmen in the air, and for those in Iraq , Afghanistan and all foreign countries. There is nothing attached...

This can be very powerful... Of all the gifts you could give a US Soldier, Sailor, Coastguardsman, Marine, or Airman, prayer is the very best one. I can't break this one, sorry. Pass it on to everyone and pray.

Monday, July 12, 2010

People like me...they really, really like me!

Well, at least 4 of you do! I have 4 followers to my blog! I feel so special & honored! My goal is to one day break double digits with my followers...but I think I'll have to write better blogs...haha! I promise to post another blog this week before I leave for St. Louis. Maybe. Thank you to my 4 followers!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010


To the 2 douche bags in the yellow & black Corvettes racing down Keller Springs…thanks for running the light at Knoll Trail and nearly causing me to wreck my new car...just to have to stop at the red light at the Tollway. I’m so sorry about your penises.


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I blame Mother Nature, PMS, the rainy weather and raging hormones...

I am feeling a little emo this week and I think PMS & the weather have something to do with it. Some days it really sucks being a girl. Sometimes I wonder...if my Mr. Right is out there...everyone says he is… that he just hasn't found me yet. Well, he needs to get to steppin'...LOL! I guess I am feeling a little lonely…I am okay with being single. I don't need a man to make me happy; I want a man to be happy with. But once in a while I just miss the physical contact…someone to fall asleep with. Now I know if I just wanted to get laid I'd have no problem doing that. But in the end, I need/want/deserve more than that. I want to be wanted…desired...needed. After my last relationship ended, I took some time for me and to figure out what is important to me in a relationship. In all reality I don't ask for much. I'm pretty low maintenance, I think, when it comes to relationships. I prefer the little things…because they mean so much more. Now I know these days romantic men are extremely scarce…but they are out there. I want to find a man that will open the door for me, hold my hand in public. One that doesn't mind having nights in, because every now and then you need downtime. But, I want to find a man that doesn't mind being out & about either. Someone active...who will maybe run with me. One that realizes my family means everything to me and they tend to lean on me a lot...I am the strong one, and there are times I need someone I can lean on...and I want him to be that person. One that gets along with my friends, because when we are all together...we can get outa hand. Someone who can make me laugh...I have a weakness for funny guys and I love to laugh. I want to find a man who wants to be with me because I am me. One who doesn't try to change me...emotionally or physically. I am who I am...take it or leave it. I do not have the perfect body…a REAL woman has meat on her bones, is soft, has curves. There are days I don't wear make-up...or get all dressed up. But, I still have a lot to offer the right person. I know this...I am just waiting to find a man who can see it. I'd like to find someone who respects me. One who will tell me how beautiful he thinks I am & actually mean it...not just say it because he knows it is what I want to hear. SOmeone who will be honest with me...I hate lies & deceit. I don't need to be showered with gifts or wined & dined all the time. The things I want from a man are free. I see how some of my friends are treated in their doors are opened for them...they get foot massages every now & then when they’ve had had a long day... cards are left for them…little things like that. Doesn't cost a dime. And it isn't like I wouldn't do the same. It's in my nature to give...I can't help myself. But I find myself meeting guys lately who take it for granted. I just want to meet someone who makes me happy and vice versa. One who feels he never knew what he did with out me. I know he is out there somewhere...just not sure where... Ok...I am done and off my I feel better! LOL!

"Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out....but to see who cares enough to tear them down."

Thursday, June 17, 2010

My friends...

I am going to take a quick minute to say thank you to my friends for always being there for me and loving me no matter what. For helping me see that I do not give myself enough credit and that I shouldn't settle for 2nd best. I have the greatest friends in the world and I am so blessed. Sometimes I feel like I could never repay them, but they know I would do anything for them. I would like to tell you a little about each one.

First there is Angie. I have known this woman since I was around 8 years old. So 25 years or so. My family moved in across the street from her when I was in 2nd grade. Angie is 2 years older than me, but her mom made her play with me anyway since I didn't know anyone. LOL. I remember my brother would ALWAYS pick on me and for the most part she'd defend me. But sometimes I was the little sister she didn't have...chasing me around with a basket full of Locust KNOWING I'm deathly afraid of bugs...LOL. Then of course there was the teasing and picking on me...I'd take my toys and go home...but I always came back. As we got older & matured, so did our friendship. I moved away to Dickinson, she spent the summer with me. After I graduated high school I spent the summer with her, she had just had her daughter. Then I moved back to Dallas & she welcomed me into her home. I will never forget that. It eventually took a toll on friendship and we didn't speak for a couple of years. But true friends never really leave. I thought and worried about her everyday. I wanted nothing but happiness for her. Then a friend of ours got us together...and the rest was history. Angie is the one person I know on this earth I can tell absolutely ANYTHING to and she will not judge or discriminate. She will only say her opinion and offer support. So to are the sister God and fate forgot to give me. I love you...and your family. And I thank you for welcoming me into you house & family with open arms.

Then there is Zak and Dustin. Both of whom I could not do without! They are special to me for so many reasons. I met Zak through our friend Kelli. The minute I met him I knew we'd be friends. He is full of talent (have you seen his photography?) and knowledge...I wish I had a pinky full of some of it...Zak has such a giving heart; he'd do anything for someone he loves. We have spent so many days & nights on my couch vegging out watching movies...or playing Phase 10. He is so open minded and non-judgmental, it feels good knowing I can confide in him. I wouldn't give him up for anything and I only hope we are friends for the rest of our days. He has the greatest family whom I love to pieces. His mom is a hoot when she does Jell-O shots...LOL! He has moved to St. Louis to be with his partner Will (who is also VERY special to me) and even though I do not get to see him as much as I’d like, I know he is happy and that is all that matters to me. Zak, thank you so much for being my friend. For hanging out with me, keeping me company, and most of all for just being you...the wonderful, amazing, talented, and beautiful person you are.

I met Dustin through Zak. I had seen him on Zak's MySpace page before...but met him in person at the Hideaway while Zak was bartending there. He popped in for a drink and we chatted a bit. I don't remember what we talked about; I just remember laughing...a lot! We chatted on MySpace a bit, and then met for a happy hour one day. It was down hill from there. Dustin is a great friend to have. We are alike in so many ways it’s scary. You can never be with him and NOT have a great time. He sees humor in everything. And he is a great should check out his blogs! He had moved to Seattle for a while, which took a toll on me. I missed him. But, I knew the new job and new town is what he needed at the time. I am so glad he is back in DFW! I want nothing but the best for him. Anyone that can call him a friend is a very lucky person. He'd give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. So Dustin, even though you're back in the Big D and traveling all the time for work, you are still so very special to me. I am blessed to have your friendship. I miss you, but know you are the Weizer to my Clarie and I look forward to us being crazy old cat ladies together!

I have made some new friends over the last year or so and love the diversity each of them brings to our friendship. My DRC ladies…I could NOT have made it through the past 2 training seasons without you. You all were there for me when my relationship ended and helped me run out the sadness and tears every Saturday morning, Tuesday & Wednesday nights. The Tuesday runs at Nirisha’s with dinner to follow were life savers for me at the time. You helped me see I am completely capable of doing amazing things on my own! I enjoyed seeing all of us accomplish our training goals and am looking forward to the fall training season with all of you again! To my newer friends Stacy, Melissa and Amy…you girls are awesome and so much fun to be with. Thank you to Stacy for willing to run the Katy Trail and the Cowtown Half with me at a slower pace than she is used to just to push me and make me hit my goals. And thank you always having an open ear & heart when I'd doubt myself. I hope I can repay the favor someday. And thank you for willing to try & teach me to really swim and making me think one day I may do a triathlon! You never know! Thank you Amy for always being up for girl’s night at my house and being there to listen when I need it. I am happy to return the favor anytime you need it. Melissa…we’ve hung out a lot lately and I enjoy every minute of it! You remind me of myself in so many ways and are always there to listen & cheer me up if needed. I love our volleyball games and sailing on the weekends! I am glad you are my person, that you are my Christina Yang. I hope our friendship continues to grow. Let's hug it out!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

22 ways to make me smile...

If you truly know me you know I've said a hundred times before...I prefer the little things. Here are some little things in a relationship that make me (and my heart) smile...the ones in purple get me every time...

1. Tell her she is beautiful or gorgeous (not fine, or sexy)

2 . Hold her hand at any moment...even if it’s just for a second.

3 . Kiss her on the forehead/neck.

4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.


7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.

8 . Write her notes. (she loves them)

9 . Introduce her to family and your girlfriend.

10 . Play with her hair.

11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her.

12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.

13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes.

14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.

15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her.

16 . Give her piggyback rides.

17 . Bring her flowers.

18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you’re alone.

19 . Look her in the eyes and smile.

20 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.

21 . Kiss her in the rain.

22 . If you’re in love with her...tell her.

And if you wanted to score extra points...

a) Snuggle with her & watch a movie

b) Kiss her for no reason

c) Open the door for her

d) Offer to bring her dinner or take her out so she doesn't have to cook

e) Make it known you're interested in her

Friday, June 4, 2010

My hero…My Daddy

If you truly know me, you know I am a complete daddy's girl. I have been from the day I was born. I am very close to my dad and consider him my best friend. There really isn't much I can't talk to him about. I am very lucky...most people I know are not close to their parents. Mine are my best friends and biggest supporters.

It was around 4 years ago that I was reminded you can not assume your loved ones will be around forever. My dad has not been a healthy man most of my life. In 1988 he had triple bypass open heart surgery and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. In 1998 he had a triple angioplasty to unblock the 3 veins he received in his bypass surgery 10 years before. In 2001 he had another heart attack and was told they would not do surgery because his heart could not take it, so for the past 9 years it has been treated medically. About 14 or 15 years ago he was diagnosed with Peripheral Neuropathy in his lower legs & feet. Definition: peripheral neuropathy refers to the variety of conditions that result when the nerves from the rest of the body that connect to the brain and spinal cord are damaged or diseased. Basically, he can't feel his feet & lower legs. So, if he cuts his foot or bangs his leg into something he won't feel it, and won't realize it is there until he sees blood or a bruise.

Four years ago my dad stepped on what I think was a nail (from the look of the wound), didn't know right away, noticed blood and/or puss in his sock, and started treating it at home with Epson salt, peroxide and Neosporin. Now, in the past this has worked for him when he had sores on his feet. This time he was not so lucky. He went to our family doctor on a Friday and his foot had gotten so red & swollen, our doctor was shocked. So what does the doctor do? He tested him for diabetes...guess what? Yep...he has it. And most likely has for as long as he's had the Neuropathy...for both diseases generally coincide with each other. I took him to the ER and he was quickly admitted. Tests, x-rays and blood work was done again and again.

The surgeons spoke to us to tell us what had to be done. The 2nd toe (one next to the big toe) was for sure being amputated. Once they did that, they would be able to see how deep & how high the infection went in his foot. IF the infection went higher than the toe, they said they'd have to amputate his foot below the toes. He'd still have most of his foot, just a partial part missing. IF it went higher than that, they'd amputate mid-calf. So, of course, we think the worse not knowing any better. And we wouldn't know until he was IN surgery. Without a doubt it was one of the worst nights of my life. Not to mention his. I couldn't imagine what he was feeling & thinking. My dad is a very strong man, doesn't show emotion. In my 33 years of life I've seen him cry 2 or 3 times...when his mother (my Nana) died, and when our dogs Prissy and Girl died. Well, I saw him cry that night. And it totally broke my heart. This is my hero. The type of man I hope I find...caring, strong, giving, and trusting. My dad is everything to me...always has been, always will be.

They ended up only taking the one toe. The infection had gone a little higher, but IV antibiotics did the trick in getting rid of it rather than more amputation. His left foot is what we now call his problem foot. He gets wounds and has to go to the wound care clinic weekly to make sure the infection doesn’t spread. We are fighting one right now that the doctors suggest be skin graphed because of the size and placement. Naturally, he is concerned with the healing process with his diabetes.

My point to all of this rambling is to not take for granted those you love. They may not be here tomorrow. It is a known fact everyone dies. You will lose those you love. But while you do have them here, make the most of it. And definitely make sure they know how much you care. I tell my dad everyday I love him…my mom too.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Watch out! I'm here!

Well, I decided I wanted to start blogging. Big whoop right? I know. But it is something I've always wanted to do, just never have. My blogs will not change the world or promote world peace. I'm sure there will be tons of typos and possible misspellings and bad grammar. Get over it! I will most likely be too lazy to fix it. They will be random ramblings from a girl who runs, drinks beer, reads, and falls down/cuts/burns herself a lot. Enjoy!