Motivation...or lack there of.

I have been in a rut lately. A huge one. The internet defines motivation as an incentive or reason for doing something. It seems lately I can't find any...at all. I have completely slacked off in my class and it isn't even a hard class to take. The subject matter is pretty easy...just a lot of reading. The last 2 semesters my heart just hasn't been in it. I want to and need to finish my degree, I just can't find the motivation I had when I started back to school in the Fall of 2009. My house is a wreck. I've never been a super clean freak, but it was always decent. I wouldn't be embarrassed to have people over. Right now, I'd have to spend a good full day cleaning before I'd let someone step foot in the front door. It isn't like it is disgusting, just cluttered and dusty. I have hoarding tendancies, but mostly with canned goods...so my house isn't waist deep in sale ads from 1997 or anything...don't want you getting the wrong idea. :-). Besides school and housework what has taken a huge hit from my lack of motivation is my running...and for some reason that bothers me the most. By this time last year I had accumulated 25.64 more miles in training than I have today, and that was with a month off due to an injury. For the year 2009 I had a total of 441.57 miles. I'm not sure I'll hit that mark for 2010...I know I won't beat it at the rate I'm going. I'm lost as to how to get my mojo back. I'm not sure how I lost it. All I know is I want to find my motivation again...and quick! What do I do?

How to Poop at Work...or in public...

This email has been going around for years but I received it again today and couldn't stop laughing so I felt the needto share the laughter. Because let's face it...poop is funny! Enjoy!


We have all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, the following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.


Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.


ESCAPEE - definition: A fart the slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee,do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.


JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE) - definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.


COURTESY FLUSH - definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.


WALK OF SHAME - definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be very a uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.


OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER - definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see on Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arms. Always looks around the office for the out of the Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.


THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN) - definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the where abouts of Out of the Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.


SAFE HAVENS - definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominately of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.


TURD BURGLAR - definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.


CAMO-COUGH - definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON , or to alert potential Turd Burglers. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.


ASTAIRE - definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglers that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.


WATERMELON - definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon is coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.


HAVANA OMLET - definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.


UNCLE TED - definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.


FLY BY - definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

My bucket list

I think everyone has a bucket list of some sort...a list of things to accomplish before kicking the bucket. Here is my list in no particular order.

1. Travel to Italy, Greece, Spain, Ireland, Ausrtraila, South Africa and South America.
2. Run a full marathon.
3. Learn to play an instrument...either piano or guitar.
4. Find true love.
5. Take ballroom dance lessons.
6. Learn Spanish.
7. Get married in a white chapel in Las Vegas by Elvis...a fat Elvis in a white rhinestone jumpsuit.
8. Go to the Grand Canyon.
9. Take a creative writing class.
10. Finish my degree.
11. Scuba dive.
12. Go to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
13. Go island hopping in the Caribbean.
14. Take an art class
15. Learn to say no without feeling guilty.
16. Swim with dolphins.
17. See a play or musical on Broadway.
18. Write a short story or book.
19. Organize my home better and do better about cleaning it.
20. Adopt a dog.

10 reasons to have a man around the house...

1. To change the lighbulbs & get things off the top shelves and/or places I can't reach.
2. To take out the stinky trash.
3. To carry the grocery/Wal-Mart/Target bags in from the car.
4. Around the hose fix-ups - hanging curtains (they've been waiting to be hung up for 4 months now), ungog the drains, hook up electronics, etc.
5. Someone to cook dinner for.
6. Someone to come home to & talk about our days.
7. To have someone to watch the big girl TV with on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
8. To vaccuum and dust while I do dishes & laundry.
9. To help rearrange the furniture.
10. To rub my feet after a long run while sharing a ice cold beer.

Am I wanting too much??? I think not.

I'm going to miss him so much...

Yesterday, my nephew Josh left for Alaska where he is stationed until he deploys. He was home for 17 days after graduating from bootcamp & AIT training. I didn't get to spend much time with him, but the few precious hours I did on Saturday I will cherish. My parents & I went to DFW to see him off along with other family members. I stayed back & didn't hover like I wanted to, to give him & Tiffany & Preston family time. I did make sure I got a long hug in before he left to depart. Watching him go through airport secruity was hard, and it was even harder to hold back the tears. I have always been close to Josh. I've always felt he is someone I can confide in and vice versa, even though there is a slight age difference. He is a man now, with a family of his own and I could not be prouder of him and the man he is becoming. I hate that he is so far away, far away from his family...but I know he will succeed in his training and learn so much at Ft. Wainwright. I'm not sure if he will ever read this, but Josh I love you and can't wait to hear from you!

I am a Great Aunt!

A few weeks ago, my nephew Josh's son was born. Preston Blake entered the world at 4:41pm on July 20, 2010 weighing in at 8lbs 1oz and measuring 20-3/4" long. I got to stay in the room and watching him blaze into this world is an experience I will never forget & will always cherish. I got a text from Tiffany, his girlfriend, at around 3:45 saying she was in labor. About 4:30-5:00 she texted saying she had been admitted and hooked up to machines. I told myself I better get up & head up there so I don't miss anything. I got to the hospital around 7am and the waiting began. Tiffany got her epideral (sp?) around 8am-ish and napped a lot throughout the day. She went from 7cm to 9cm in a matter of 45 minutes. Around 1pm she started pushing, but Preston wasn't low enough so the nurse suggested she take a break and reposition to see if that will help push him down a little lower. Around 3:50pm-ish she started pushing again. This time it was for real. After about 30 minutes I could see his head crowning! We kept encouraging her to push harder and not too much longer he was out! The doctor put him on Tiff's tummy and her mom cut the cord. The nurses wisked him away to start cleaning him up. I could not believe how beautiful he was...well minus the cone head. :-). He finally cried for the first time and then I knew everything was ok. I started taking pictures of him instantly! I am so proud of Tiffany...she was a trooper through the whole delivery. She didn't cry, scream, curse or throw anything...she just pushed. There were so many people there waiting to meet little Preston...he is not ever going to lack in the love department...that is for sure! Here are a few pictures from over the last 3 weeks.

Half boy-Half man

I wish I could take credit for writing this, but I can not. I stole it from a high school friend's husband who is an ex-marine. This reminds me of my nephew Josh, who at 19 left for Army bootcamp in April and graduates on August 6th...a few weeks after his son will be born. Then he will be stationed at Ft. Wainwright in Fairbanks, Alaska, deploying to Afghanistan in March I believe. I have watched this young man grow up since the day he was born. He was such a mischievous child...always in to something. But he was a very sweet and loving boy. And thank goodness he still is. Like most men he doesn't show his emotions much, but his heart is huge & full of love. I miss him like crazy and worry about him daily, but I am so proud of the man he is becoming. I know he will be a great dad to little Preston (once he gets here). Anyway, even if you do not agree with the war, support our troops and hug a soldier. They fight and put their lives on the line for us. I love you Josh & I am so proud of you!

1/2 boy 1/2 man

If you read this, you WILL forward it on. You just won't be able to stop yourself. The average age of the military man is 19 years. He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country. He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father's, but he has never collected unemployment either.



He's a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student, pursued some form of sport activities, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to be waiting when he returns from half a world away. He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz or swing and a 155mm howitzer. He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting from before dawn to well after dusk. He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark. He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must. He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional. He can march until he is told to stop, or stop until he is told to march. He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity. He is self-sufficient. He has two sets of fatigues: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his canteens full and his feet dry. He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts. If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He'll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low. He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands. He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job.


He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay, and still find ironic humor in it all. He has seen more suffering and death than he should have in his short lifetime.

He has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combat and is unashamed. He feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through his body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to 'square-away ' those around him who haven't bothered to stand, remove their hat, or even stop talking. In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, he defends their right to be disrespectful. Just as did his Father, Grandfather, and Great-grandfather, he is paying the price for our freedom. Beardless or not, he is not a boy. He is the American Fighting Man that has kept this country free for over 200 years.

He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship and understanding. Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood. And now we even have women over there in danger, doing their part in this tradition of going to War when our nation calls us to do so.

As you go to bed tonight, remember this shot. . .

A short lull, a little shade and a picture of loved ones in their helmets. Prayer wheel for our military... please don't break it Please send this on after a short prayer. Prayer Wheel 'Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen.' When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our ground troops, sailors on ships, and airmen in the air, and for those in Iraq , Afghanistan and all foreign countries. There is nothing attached...

This can be very powerful... Of all the gifts you could give a US Soldier, Sailor, Coastguardsman, Marine, or Airman, prayer is the very best one. I can't break this one, sorry. Pass it on to everyone and pray.